The Sound Of My Life... O Som Da Minha Vida... El Sonido De Mi Vida...

Check Out my INTERVIEW at World of Models!

2010-01-05T11:41:00.002-06:00

40th Edition of the Magazine, my first interview of the year 2010... Namaste! xxx

Soundtrack: Bad Romance, by: Lady Gaga

Delayed Rescue!

2010-01-05T01:55:00.009-06:00

It took 2 hours for the ambulance to come, 4 hours for the private plane, and my cousin was only at a decent hospital 10 hours, later!

... First week of the year, and already a tragedy had to come us. My cousin Edson, who is the oldest son of my mother's older brother, had a car accident in the city of Benguela, Angola. It was 6am when it happened, we immediately had a phone call from some cousins of his that were also part of the trip. They said that he needed to be evacuated from the province he was, because they didn't have the recurses to keep him at the hospital.

> How can a hospital in a city that will be the home for the ACN (African Championship of Nations) not have a hospital with resources, what if the footballers get injured?

I heard that at some point my family asked for ice because my cousin was swollen and they didn't even have that! ... that is scary!

What also caught my attention was the fact that, in order for us to get to my cousin, to rescue him, of what was a fatal accident, given the fact that an 18 year old boy passed away, my family had to pay 12.000$ for a plane to get there, because the health system of the country is not responsible for it, it's more, without the 12 thousand, the plane wouldn't take of and a person, in this case my cousin, could die. And even after the plane was paid, the time they took in between the accident, doctor, pilot (that came reading a newspaper), co-pilot arrivals was enough time to have the worst happen, it took 6 hours to have them get to my cousin, only one hour of flight, and they call it: MRI (Medical Rescue International). Until the time he got to the hospital he was to receive first aid, scan, examinations and all, more than 8 hours had gone thru. Now tell me, how could we not have people constantly dying like crazy in this country?

Please, change this in Angola or i don't think the other african nations will leave happy after all.

Happily my cousin Edson is finally out of danger, and i wish him really fast recovery. We love You!

Soundtrack: Hotel California, by: Edson Azevedo

As if i wrote these Lyrics...

2009-12-28T02:43:00.002-06:00

I came across this song, in one of many sleepless nights. I was laying in the couch (I tend to sleep with the television on, ever since i got here, in Angola)... the video started playing on MTV, from the time i saw a guy playing the piano in a room full of toys, i was like: "this is good". It brought me back to myself ever since i know myself, then i started paying attention to the lyrics and to how smart and simple the video was, and i fell in love. "Owl City" is rocking my world and this lyrics fairly describe my state of mind. Hope you enjoy it, as much as i do!

Luanda-ANGOLA

2009-12-28T01:36:00.006-06:00

WoW... many days of silence! The truth is that i find it hard to say anything, when i don't know where i stand. I am in Luanda-Angola, after 4-5 years without coming, over 15 years living elsewhere, it's been exactly a week since i've arrived. At first i was extremely excited to come back here, to see my family, friends and see how the city had developed, but now i am almost ready to leave! I wish people's mentality and behavior had grown as much as the country did the past few years. So many things have changed, the city of Luanda has expanded so much, banks in every corner, malls with current movies playing in the cinemas worldwide, take-away, fast food places, good restaurants, even the television is a lot better and now one can actually spend a whole afternoon at home watching it, 4 new stadiums, beautifully done (the inauguration was done yesterday with the presence of the President of the republic) ... i think those are the things that had surprised me the most! In the meantime it is not easy to walk around or even drive around, it isn't safe, too many robberies, too many murderers for things like cell-phones, video cameras, money... It's sad, because it prevents people from enjoying the goodness the country is presenting. Many years ago when i left Angola, i had promised to myself not to return, i felt like i would never fit in here, with the passing of the years and seeing how so many people that have been abroad studying, so many of my friends had returned, my parents, my brothers and sisters, i felt like i could do the same, if they could, i could, why not, at the end, this is my country and this should be home, my whole family is here... unfortunately these days i'm coming to the same conclusion, this is not for me... but i wonder, will Angola ever be my HOME? ...

Soundtrack: I Wish, by Carl Henry

My Inventor... Sonia Azevedo!

2009-12-16T01:56:00.014-06:00

In this picture: Sonia, my Dad (R.I.P) and Nuno (The Doll)

My older and beautiful sister Sonia, who is not my biological sister, is a person who i have great admiration for. I remember when i was younger, my family used to tell me that Sonia was my Inventor! She had a doll called "Nuno"(which is also my name) way before i was born. She used to ask my Mother and my Father R.I.P. who raised her, to have a baby like her doll and eventually my Mother got pregnant and here i am: Paulo Nuno de Azevedo Pascoal... and i looked just like her doll. Distance and time has made me and Sonia grow apart, we have very different lives, always lived in different countries, and never really got the chance to get to know each other. A couple of months ago, i was a little upset at Sonia for something i heard she did to my other sister, but there's no need to mention that any longer... I assumed things, she assumed things, but we never really talked about it, until this past Saturday, while i was out with my friends and i got a call from her. I got a bit nervous, i am just not used to have her call me and say: "I'm coming to meet you". When she finally got to the place i was, we got in and asked for 2 Tequila shots, yes, we cheered, i could feel that the day to set things clear had come. After some drinks and the club about to close, we were intoxicated enough to decide to get emotional, we sit outside on the ground, looking towards the river and seeing the sunrise, it was definitely one of the most beautiful mornings i've had in a long time, we spoke about everything and we realized how similar we are, although we are not biological brother and sister, we do love each other as if, at end, we do own the same blood, Sonia is the daughter of my Mother's older Brother Carlos, who lost his wife way too soon and got a bit edgy. My Mother took Sonia and her Brother Helder under her custody! But then my Mother also lost my father she was only 26 yeas old, and she couldn't follow her promise, she couldn't even take care of us. I wish i could speak about all we spoke, but i need to keep it private on her behalf. I will never forget when i was 11 years old and Sonia was 19 years old, my Mom sent both of us for holidays in South Africa, it was one of the best vacations i've had, Sonia smoked cigarettes and she didn't want the family to know at the time, and i took her first smoking picture to blackmail her, HaHa... it was when on the New Year's Eve of 1994 i was drunk for the first time in my life.

I'm really happy with the talk we had, although drunk, i hope we keep, as of now, growing together and learning from each other, and no matter what happens in the future, Sonia, i'll stand by you and i'll ask you first instead of assuming nonsense. I LOVE YOU SISTER!

The night ended past 10am, with both of us in the kitchen, crying, laughing, bonding, drinking champagne and smoking cigarettes!

It's About Time!

2009-12-14T21:24:00.009-06:00

And almost an year has gone by, since my last Blog Entry: "Finding my New Years Vision".

God knows, so much has happened this year... in conclusion I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR, the biggest and longest scare of all times, so far!

I have kept writing but i also must assume i've been afraid of sharing!

Well, now the fear is gone... and here i am!

Please do not forget to Subscribe and/or Follow if you care.

As for my Blogger Readers that are not my friends anywhere else, there's a bunch of links on the right side: "The Sound of Network" ... where you'll be able to see me up and close, in case i have not much time to write!

There's plenty to share, Health, New Interviews, Movies, Music, Commercials, Love Interests, Traveling, a whole lot happening... Phew!

Stay Tuned, and allow me to do the same with you!

I LOVE YOU! I DO!

Thank You!

Namaste!

XXX

((P))

Soundtrack: Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson

Finding My New Years Vision...

2008-12-30T05:21:00.007-06:00

It's about 6.24am and i have already posted 2 entries, feel like i am rushing to tell you everything, but i can't, i need to poise down and feel more of what i am writing, also pay more attention to errors and writing mistakes. No... that is also something that i have learned over the last year, to let go of the EGO! But it's not what i want to talk about, i want to talk about this urge that i suddenly have again to share my life with you, the world, to get advice, to grow... i haven't felt like this in a while, and i am so happy that is happening again! Whoa... So excited, i hope it lasts!

Writting another blog, would mean to have to make a huge effort to go back into the past, when past should actually just be history, but if it is, then if i forget it who's gonna be there to tell it?!

And why is this suddenly so important??

Because i have a Cancer!

Because i can't take my days for granted!

Because i might be selvish or even egocentric, but i just don't want to go without leaving something to be remembered by!

Because i've been blessed with life, 9 times, and in this last one up untill now, i feel like i've screwed it up and maybe by writting at least you, God or the Universe will know why!

Because i've always wanted to make history!

Because i feel alone and this is the only way i have to speak it out and loud but silently!

Because i have this immense power within but i don't know how to use it!

Because when i'm no longer it shall be the beauty of life that stole my last breath away, but if i don't share how will you know it was beautiful! And was it beautiful?!

2009, is suppose to be the best year of my life, and now that is so close i'm actually scared!

My friend Mike sent me this email about finding my new year vision, and i'll started it today, and i feel that if i don't let go of the past now, i won't be able to acomplish whatever there is for me to acomplish this year, that will make it so Amazing!

So i write... and i'll be writting it all untill i don't have anything else left in my mind, untill i'm thoughtless, untill my cup of tea is empty and ready to be refilled... and by cup of tea, i mean, mind, head, external mind, consciousness, brain... whatever you want to call it!

I need this! I do!

A new start an absolute new attitude and aproach to life!

It has happen earlier this year, but it's just gonna be put in practise as of now... 2009!

But what if i'm just talking the talk and not walking it?

Feels like i've been here so many times before!

Did i?!

I'm such a hot mess!

I'm lost and I desperately need help!

I do I do!

FUCK!

Why am i so scared?!

This is the Intro of the Program: Resolutions Don't Work...

It’s the dead of winter, the last week in December, and you’ve probably got some timeoff. If you’re like most of the world, you’re feeling reflective about the past year and aredaydreaming about the year to come. What’s next year going to be all about? What do Iwant it to be about? How can I stay focused and on track when everything is alwayschanging?

hahahahaha... YAY!

Soundtrack: "Find My Way Back"... by: Diana King

From April 2007 On... Catching up With!

2008-12-30T03:28:00.007-06:00

I returned to Canada, with that scare i had i figured it was time to let go of Mom and Dad's and actually try to do something... get a stady job, something that gives me a pay check at the end of the month. They gave me a visa for 4 months, untill exactly the day before my 25th birthday, and untill then i would have to proove that i could stay in Canada without government help or parents... so i was working really hard into having it happen... also for my parents cuz i knew it wasn't easy for them to get the visa for me. I needed to show them that i was grateful and i would do my best to show them that.

I got a job a shoe designer associate for the ALDO group, and by the end of the summer moved to Montreal.

Although this New Life i was having, absolutely careless of the Entertainment Industry was kind of going well, i wasn't making enough money, not even to pay for my rent, having the contract with Aldo wasn't enough to get a Work Visa, besides i was doing the whole long distance thing with my baby in NYC which was driving me insane... i just really wasn't happy, and i started considering moving to NYC and just drop Canada, seemed like my time in there had passed me by, and there was nothing i could do anymore!

But still, one goes through emotional fights, what if NYC is not the answer, what if i move and he doesn't want to be with me anymore, what about my parents? will they think i'm young and irresponsable?... I don't have a work Visa in NY either, should i go back to Portugal?... Should i give it more time in Canada and see what happens?... Should i ask him to come live with me here!

In the middle of all of that i audition for a Rock Recording Artist Contract to be released ASAP.

Will get into that later...

And it makes me feel like, OK... maybe i should stick around for a little longer, that could be the answer to my prayers and questions!

Working for ALDO, now part of FOLIO Montreal, Chaplin Talents and with a Rock Recording Contract in my hands... i decide to just stay in Montreal, learn some more french and keep working towards settling down!

I have so many things to say about my relationship, but i am just not ready, cuz we are still unsolved and i'm affraid of damaging the little we have left by sharing it with you just yet!

Obviously it had a lot to do with the way i felt, and how even with everything kind of happening again, i just couldn't feel fulfilled and happy!

On the other hand i was quite miserable!

I stopped doing the whole trips to Toronto, back and forth.... i decided to just audition in Montreal, but only when i had time, felt like i was living my real dream behind, like i wasn't being who i wanted to be any longer... i just had the need to settle and settling meant leaving my Dream behind!

I manage to book a couple of interesting movies and other gigs!

My baby... kept coming back and forth from NYC, i would do the same, quite often, at the end of the summer we broke up... for like a month... then got back together... around August!

Life was crazy... in order to also save the relationship we were hitting the point where, either you move, or i move... or we are done!

It was a pure hustle!

And by October he moved in with me, in Montreal!

But i had promised him, that i would take care of him, we were in french town, he had no working papers tho he is american, also an actor, booking jobs for him, tho it happened, was harder, than for me... he wasn't happy, i wasn't happy, we were trying to hard and i had way too much weight on my shoulder, but i was in denial, and i just couldn't let go!

It was a bit of Hell!

I had lost my identity and no longer could be selvish... but as much as i felt like that, he just didn't seem to have the same perception!

But so sweet and beautiful at times, most of times... we would stay in the house, he would cool, we would go to the gym, watch movies everynight... i would go to work and he would stay home, at some point i didn't want to be working anymore, so i would actually avoid castings and such, just to be more at home with him, to make him feels ok about doing nothing... and there we were, surviving, literally just out of love, wanting... and hope!

... And that was pretty much the end of the year 2007... actually i finished the year in Amsterdam, with him and his family... it was beautiful, just for the fact that ever since i came to North America this last time, i didn't even go see my family or to Portugal, and i decided to travel the Ocean to go meet his family and his... in the place where he was born!

It was a memorable time... i can already see this is all going to be about him... i know i must be making you very curious... our story is beautiful, as much as dramatic... just like every other GREAT LOVE STORY... intense, oh yeah!

But this is another post, so i can also put the thoughts in order in my head, and put the general idea out there, so then i can go in details towards the rest!

2007 seven was pretty much about (M)y (A)adiction (X)traordinaire... that's one of his nicknames given by me!!!

Aaaahh!

I'm writting fast so i don't lose track, i apologize for my bad english!

Soundtrack: Addicted by: Amy Winehouse

December 2006 and My Canadian Visa Issue

2008-12-30T02:01:00.006-06:00

Yes... two year ago, it was, when my family and i, who at the moment were living in Ottawa, decided to come to NYC to spend the holiday season!

My Canadian Visa was about to expire, and we decided that it would be best to apply for it in NYC, close enough... etc etc... but still out of the country!

Put in NYC, i let Christmas pass, and by the 27th of December i went to the Embassy to ask for a New Visa!... I was doing really well in Canada, my parents were diplomats and so i took it all for granted!

1st day... With all the forms filled and the documentation necessary i submitted it all and awaited for a reply, when the conselour tells me, that at the moment i was unabled to get a visa, cuz i was too old to be under my parents guard as a diplomat, so i needed to find a way of prooving i'd be in Canada on my own, independent, for school or work, and for those i needed to have the proper letters justifying why i wanted to stay in Canada.

Obviously it was a big issue, cuz thru being a diplomat i can work in whatever, untill the age of 25 and i don't need any specific visa. But the man told me that i only have 7 months left as a 24 year old and that he couldn't issue me a visa, and that actually that was only untill i was 23 years old, which later i figured he either lied or was uninformed!

Diplomatic Visas are only applicable untill the age of 25, if you are not working to an instituiton, UN or etc.

I worried, but not much, cuz i had made enough contacts through the 2 years i was already living in the there... i had built a life, i wasn't ready to get rid of, so i took a breath and went home trying to find the best way of solving the problem!

2nd day... about two days later... it was the 29th of December i go back... this time i had a letter of my Agent, saying that i had a job booking to attend on the 2nd of January, and that i couldn't miss it!

WHAT A MISTAKE!

The man, which name doesn't occur to me right now, freaks out, questionning me things like:

"How do you have an agent in Canada?"

"What makes you think that you can go to Canada and take a privileged spot of a canadian?"

"How do you work in Canada?"

Obviously with another obstacul and me feeling like the man just wanted to make my life impossible, i couldn't even reply to his questions, i just said: " Well, i studied in Canada, i'm there cuz my family lives there, i have a house, i have a job, my whole life is there, so if that's gonna change i ask you to please allow me to have a temporary visa to at least get into the country and get my belongings. I also knew i was giving me way too much power, and it would not make anything easier.

He replied something like i would need different documentations, like a proper job (everyday 9-5 job letter with a contract)... or a letter from the school where i studied, but that for that i would have to be currently attending the school!

Oh Boy... i just knew he was up for no good!

So i found a way of contacting the school i was suppose to be attending and have the director send me a letter in which he actually lied, saying that i was still frequenting the school... and the consuleur said "No", in order to obtain a student visa i would have to be a full-time student, which obviously i wasn't, and he added:

"I googled you, and luckly for you, your myspace doesn't say you live in Canada, but Angola, Portugal, Brazil, NY... so if you are all over the place as you are, why don't you apply for an Internacional Artist type of Visa?"

Well, first, cuz i've been a diplomat all these year, and never really looked for alternative ways, cuz i didn't need to.

Then cuz to do that i would have to go back to the country where my passport is from, Angola, and i don't feel like it!

Also, you are a fucking ass and fucking hate you, i swear if i see you on the streets i'll kick your fucking ass!!! Aaah!

With that said, i got a BIG STAMP in my Passport saying: "DENIED"... which is the worst cuz i wasn't allowed back in the country for at least 4 years!!!!

You dont understand... it's been two years... of course i have overcome, but at the moment i was devastated... i was left in NY, with my laptop and a back-pack that i brought to spend a week!

I was scared, as much as accepting, that i'm just not born to have it easy!

I've been a diplomat for over 8 years and i never looked for alternative ways of having a permancy or any either type of status cuz i didn't have to!

So in NYC i stayed... untill April of 2007, when actually my parents found a way to ask for help to higher powers and they even said that the man really just had personal issues and they were sorry about the happenning!

I was also informed he was fired... Thank God, imagine how many peoples lives this guy might have destroyed!

So finally i was able to get back in Canada.

In NYC for 4 months... i once again had lost goals, priorities, enthusiasm and all!

I couldn't commit to anything cuz i knew, sooner or later i would be back in Canada, didn't know when, but things were being worked on, tho i knew it would take a while!

I was just partying and hanging around... i started going to the gym (way too much free time in my hands) and became a beefcake, fell in love (THE MOST COMPLICATED OF THEM ALL, AND STILL GOING... LOVE LOVE LOVE to be spoken about later)...

Yeah, I was so In Love that i actually didn't want to be there anymore, i just wanted to return to NYC and be with my baby!... But things were complicated, i needed to work and make money to be able to support myself in NY... as much as i wanted to give it another try and see if i could probably make something happen in Canada... I had been cast for the HairSpray Movie and they dropped me! The biggest lost of the year on my career!

I was just lost... and i couldn't seem to be able to find myself back!

Whatta crazy intense life ever since!

There's a lot more DRAMA coming!!!!

Soundtrack: Imagine, By: John Lennon

What is Quantum Physics!??

2007-01-12T18:32:00.002-06:00

Thru the passing of this life, i've come to the conclusion that, there are no "Vague Coincidences"... not only i believe that our mind owns such powerfull way of transporting people to the places we want them to be... but i also have several times been a "beneficiary" of it... I think of someone, someone anywhere in the world, known or unknown, and the next thing i know is... the person shows up in front of me! I'm very aware of my thoughts and wishes... and i think sometimes i unconsciously wish too hard, and some strengh (either my mind or some force from above: GOD), makes my wish, thought come true! I hope i'm not talking to soon and then suddenly it doesnt happen anymore... cuz i really have fun with it! Life acts in weird ways, or should i say: GOD! Can you tell me what it is???? Quantum Physics??

Lost in the Subway... The HomeComing!

2007-01-12T14:22:00.001-06:00

There is no Night i dont fall asleep in the Subway coming home... i most admit i love falling asleep in motion... so cars, trains, subways, buses always make me "NaNar". I hate planes and also the only way i have to not freak out is also taking: "2 Unisedil, Sleep Pills and there i go again" even tho it's a big mistake, cuz if there is any emergency, i'm not in my 100% capacity and i might be one of the ones that stay behind!

It has almost become a Habit... every night is the same thing... i wake up in the subway, either cuz it's the last stop and i have to change trailers, or cuz i've passed my station and i have to change trailers again... or even cuz sometimes i go blank and dont know which station is mine! hahaha.. no no.. not that bad... and of course i take them everyday, cuz as i'm living in Jackson Heights, i gotta take the subway and then a short bus... but sometimes i just walk home, cuz it's soo late and everything takes double the time!

I've been everywhere: Harlem, Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens... inside of the subway, sleeping... i should pray not to have any crazy thing happenning to me in there! We all know in the NYC Subways there have been Murderers, Rapes, Robbery... and such! :-((

Last Night, it happenned again... but i made a video... hahaha... it was fun!

Soundtrack: "Locomotion" by: Kylie Minogue

PS> I MISS MY CAR!

An Angel told me to Return...

2007-01-12T13:28:00.011-06:00

His name is Erich... i met Erich, years ago while crashing in one of his hosting parties in NYC... at Maritime Hotel... let's say 4-5 years ago... The night i met Erich, he told me he owned a gift... to be able to read people's lives, to know the past and help them figure out the future... he never used it, but sometimes he felt like saying something to the ones that were interested in what he could share with them. That night Erich told me i was special, that my grand-mother was my angel, and that i will have a great future in writting... he also told me one of my past episodes with my grand-mother, and he told me i missed her cuz she had just passed away! I was amazed, and of course, in front of so much evidence there was no way i could deny, or not believe in him.

I'm back to NY, and everytime i come i see Erich, but we have become friends, and we dont talk much about my life or his life, when we meet, it's at his party in Hiro, Maritime Hotel or Bowery Bar... so we are only up for a great time! But this past sunday, he felt like my energy, my vibe was too charged and maybe even negative, and he decided to remind me his words, and probably show me the way, cuz he might have sensed i was LOST again. He told me exactly the same, he remembered what he told me 5 years ago, some of the stuff i had already forgetten, Eric is a man full of wisdom and life experience, beyond any gift... his words are always helpful and his wit is suitable to any of us! We talked for a very long time... he had a room in the hotel, and he took me there saying:

"tonight you will stay here and start writting again... why did you stop? it's not about anyone else, it's about you"...

In the notebook there on the shelf i wrote: "tonight i will start writting again"

and then we left the room, back to socialize, but in the way, he said:

"you have a great voice, why are you not singing anymore? sing something for me"

i got shy, but you know how the "stairsway" are so accoustically awesome to hit a G flat or even an E... and so i hit it:

"tears drops are falling, why tha hell you calling me, wrong when i know that i am what i am"

I saw in his face so much joy, and he said: "do it again, higher" and i did... and then he started singing it with me... and singing we went back to the party... i gave him a big HUG... he had made my night... and he told me as in a Good-Bye way: "Paulo, you are special, it's not about anyone else, it's about you".... Awwww Eric... I love you mate for that! And you know you are Beyond Special!

> One of the things He also told me was: "2007 is a messy year, not for you or for me, but for the Earth Globe in general"

Soundtrack: "Open Up your Mind" BY: Adam Joseph

Quitting the Bad Habit... Dunhills!

2006-10-03T12:52:00.000-06:00

For over 2 years i have been smoking, constantly... i dont know exactly why i started, but my logical explaination is that... i lived 3 years with a smoker, and i think i got addicted to nicotine for being a passive smoker! Cuz it was exactly when the relantionship ended that i turned into a active smoker! Smoking helps me relax, chill, anytime i'm having a cigarette i organize my thoughts, or i just enjoy the rush nicotine causes to my body! I enjoy the lighten flame everytime i suck in the filter, making smoke bubbles, enjoy the little burning noise and just exhale... look at the smoke turn into different shapes, it is just a great therapy! I also lived among smokers as i was growing up, my aunts used to smoke, and several times when i was a kid in Africa, they would ask me to go light their cigarettes or go buy them... i'm talking about a time, when i was 6-7 years old... it was pretty normal... my aunts would be lazy sit in the couch watching tv and i would do the favor for them! First time i tried a whole cigarette i was in Spain, i was 12 years old, in the seminary, we used to go to the football court, far from the priests and have a cigarette... once we almost burned the school, cuz during the spring the pollen acumulates in the canals, creating this fluffy white material, kinda like cottom, and that is easily inflameble... it was funny, cuz we would start the fire in one of the corner of the canal and then it would burn, just like when you use gas and a string, covering the football match into a circle of fire... but only for a couple of seconds... till one day it didnt stop burning! It was Scary!

Yeah... my smoking antecedents are quite, but up till then it didnt really mean mch... it was just for Fun! But NOW! Ouch... i smoke to eat, after eating, to read, to sing, to be productive, to be creative, to drive, after the shower, out partying, i smoke first thing in the morning, and last at night... Dunhill Cigarrettes have been my faithfull companion... and now i'm letting them go! I even smoked after brushing my teeth!... Its just absurd! I smoke to be awake and i smoke to go sleep!

Well, last week i realized that it was time to stop doing that, after two years of smoking i started really noticing the changes the nicotine did to my body, like: yellow eyes, green teeth, yellow fingers, constant cough, lots of mucose in the morning, running nose. I once had the record of Palencia for Running Sprint 100 Meters, 11sec61, and now if i dance for 15 minutes i feel exausted... my lungs ask for Mercy!... Not to mention the wrinkles and the fact that my body just seems to be shrinking and my voice? Damn! As i needed a good insentive to do it, i decided to Bleach my teeth... by bleaching i would have, obligatory, to forget the cigarrettes for 2 days... which is perfect cuz its the time the nicotine abandones the blood, but... the craving persists!... now its been a week, WOW, well, i didnt fully stopped, considering that today i had a cigarette, but truth is that for 7 days, i only had 5 cigarrettes, 3 of them in the same day (friday)... but i didnt really finish them... I feel so good about that, cuz normally, addicted as i am to the drug, i would need professional help, or at least some patches or nicotine replacers, but all i have been using is my mind, drive and will!... I hope i'm able to keep on doing that, i'm sure i will... its hard to stop once you started, but at least its definetly a lot less than what it used to be!

Even tho now its totally the worst time to quit, considering the moving out, the end of my sitcom, the apartment hunting, and all and all... at the end of this Horrible Stormy Season or should i say Smoky Season? i'm so dazed and confused... but soon i'll be in touch with a totally renewed Myself!...

Soundtrack: Bad Habit by: Kelly Rowland!

Good-Bye Family... Again!

2006-10-02T21:33:00.000-06:00

I cant believe this is happenning again!

2 years have past since my family moved to Canada... time flew by so fast... but at the same time it seems so long, that we already feel like "Home". But... no... it was all an illusion... it came again the time, we all feared: Moving Out!

But instead of going to Japan... for a enormous cultural shock, and God knows it would take more than two years to learn Japanese... LOL... we are going back HOME! Yes, home! Now my question is, is it Brazil, is it Angola, or is it Portugal?...

My father was put out of duty by United Nations after denying his Mission in Japan, he is going back to Angola, his Motherland, he has waited for this moment for so long, and its finally happenning... i feel good for him, i'm sure things will be much better for him there, thats where he belongs and my Mother is going with him! When i heard this new, yesterday, i was totally suprised and i couldnt help but to think: How Selfish of Them! What about us, what about your kids? I felt sorry for my brothers and sisters, their future could be much better living in the 1st World!... But i guess not everyone has my ambition or they are just to young to decide by themselves! After a long everlasting chat... my brothers and sisters are going to stay in NYC... I'm staying in Canada for 1 more year! Truth is this transition fase its killing me... i cant believe this is happennig again!

Octuber 30th, is our deadline... ! Its like, 2 years its enough time to built up a good life... and then you have 1 month to destroy it yourself! LOL... really upseting! But we are all used to it! I'm so Sad, i can barely write or think properly, i've been in a very weird mood lately! But i guess i was pre-viewing those big changes... It's time to say... Bye food ready in the table, Bye washed clothes, Bye fixed room, Bye gas credit-cards, the non-paid phones, the red plates, the free parking.... LOL... Ouch... the everyday get togethers with my family to chat and laugh...

I'll MISS my FAMILY!

Ufff... Suspire!

Soundtrack: Good-Bye, by: Spice Girls.

Miss Jackson show me some Boobs... i mean... Moves!

2006-09-21T00:15:00.000-06:00

So Excited!

Ouch... here we go again!... Miss Jackson, Thank U, its the 4th! You Just cant Help Yourself!...

In Jail (w/ a Celeb)

2006-09-19T19:48:00.000-06:00

6 years ago... i was dancing for a "superstar"... and one day during rehearsal we received a bad new: the new cd of the star had been censured, for it's cover, and virgin megastore was denying to make the distribuition of it... This Celebrity had a contract with virgin records for as long as i've known her.. it was pretty bad to hear that... So as an upset manifestation, the star and us (the kids, thats how she called us) decided to go around the virgin megastores to see if there was any cd of her! We went to the Union Square one, downtown Manhattan, 14 st, and we started searching for cds of her, any album, new, old, special edition etc etc... we found a couple of cds, very lost in between the "Imported" seccion, and one of the kids throw one to the star saying: "here i found one"... the cd never made it to her hands and fell... broken into little pieces! Ouch! It became a game! Every single cd we found we throw them broken... turning the Virgin Megastore into a sea of broken "star" cds! Some of them went inside of our bags! LOL... Thiefs! Yeah... after the game was over we decided to leave the store... when... outside of the store was a Patrol Police Car (NYPD) with the doors openned ready to carry us to jail! LOL... we started laughing... Oh Plizzz... they are not gonna take us to jail, we are with the Star! LOL... they actually tried a high negociation, trying to make us pay till 3 times more the total value of the broken cds... but we denied... assuming we were imune of any kind of Law demand! LOL... Not True! We went to Jail, all 11 of Us! In the same Cell! For us it was just another crazy experience, we didnt mind spending the night in there... the description of the cell, i'll save... i'll just say that the toilet was right in there... i remenber sleeping with my head really close to it... i had no other spot to rest, in the floor, you know 11 persons in a mini-cell! In the morning they started calling our names! The Star was the first, someone had paid for her (caution?)... anyways she was out of jail, and us! We thought all of us would leave home just like her... but it didnt happen... they openned the cell, i got all happy thinking: "ouch what a crazy night", assuming it was over... when suddenly i got handcuffed... and it was the start of my daymare! LOL... i was sent to the penitenciary downtown... just like the others... where you leave all your belongings, and have a pressure shower, and put on a orange suit and take the famous snap shots... i couldnt stop crying, i was really in jail, and i didnt even know for how long! They put me in a cell, this time with no one i knew... all strangers, God know what type of criminals... in jail it doesnt really matter the gravity of your crime, if you are there you are a criminal, so there is no special treatment to anyone! It was Horrible! They were trying to talk to me, asking what have i done, i said: "Nothing, I'm not a Criminal" but they all say the same! And they always know... cuz the security makes sure to say who is coming! Like New merchandise in the flee market! After long 4 hours, my cell openned... i was leaving again... i felt like: "uff... finally" i had been the whole prior day out of home, i couldnt stop thinking what was my family thinking, but the only call i was allowed to do, i did to a friend of mine, Tomas Knudsen! It wasnt yet time to leave... it was time to TRIAL... my judgement, i couldnt believe i had the Jury in front of me... lol... i was praying please i dont want to be here, not a week, not a month, not one more sec... my Atourney came, her name was Amy... she was nice, she said: "Paulo, you dont belong here, next time, let your friends do what they want, dont get involved"... she was right, i'm so easily influenced even when its for bad stuff!... My sentence was... 4 days of comunity service... the Judge asked me what i prefered: "park or construction?"... i said: Park... and then i was finally set FREE... to start my cominuty service the week after, 9 hours daily!

When i got on Monday to comunity service... people was treating me even worst than in jail... they throw me the tools... they looked at my hands, asked if i had gloves... when i said no, they started laughing at me... i think you know why!

When i first openned the door to the first park washroom i was suppose to clean... OMG... the smell... i started vomiting as if there was no tomorrow... i asked: "please dont send me back there"... they did... and i fainted! I woke up in the Emergency Room, i was fine... the nurse there already knew my story, and she had shared with the others: "he is a model from brazil and he dances with a star"... LOL... instantly my "mates" had a different attitude towards me and all the work i had to do was lighten or done by the other real criminals! I spent the 4 days of comunity service picking up Gum and Cans, with a pool that had a niddle in both borders... it was fun! I actually swept sometimes too... LOL... thanks to my career! LOL... or should i say: Status!

I was close to 17 years old... and in two weeks i was suppose to go back to Trial to hear my Veridict!... this story never ends... LOL... i failed to Trial (i simply didnt show up)... i thought there was no problem... i didnt know that "failing to trial" was also a CRIME!...

One night (dawn) i was sleeping in my friends house... and my MOM called me: "Paulo where are you? are you ok? the police was here looking for you"...

They had done, one of this things you see in the movies, a group of i dont know now many cops went to my house at night... broke into the house, with flashlights and guns in their hands... i mean... poor me! For my family it was very scary, i have to thank i was not home that night (i wouldnt be able to deal with the ideia of my Mom seeing me handcuffed and taken by the police with no justification, i had never told her i was in jail, she would be very Sad)... they even measured the temperature of my bed, in case i had just runned away, they had flashlights facing my brothers, and almost took one of them thinking it was me... they showed my parents the tape of me "having fun" with the kids in the store and explained to them i had failed the Trial! My Mom told me: "Paulo please call this number... he is waitting for you at 9am"... At 9am, there i was... handcuffed again.. but this time... only to hear: "You are Absolved"... after a crazy exciting night for my family... LOL... and all the "over whelming" NY police attitude... i was finally FREE... swearing to myself after the sound of the Hum in Wood, i would never do anything against the Law again! NEVER! My Case was Rested and Sealed!

> If you commit a misdemeanor, you have a 6 months period to not commit another one... if you do, you will have a "Cadrasto" for the rest of your life!... As up till now i havent done anything crazy... i think i'm clean!

> In the first cell, the Cops would go buy us chocolates, cigarrettes and juices and all... its kinda cool! LOL...

Soundtrack: Son of a Gun, By: Janet Jackson!

Pink Panther!

2006-09-19T14:09:00.001-06:00

Negra por fuera por dentro color de algodon (Black outside, inside color of cottom)
la pantera duerme en mi ropa interior (the panther sleeps in my underwear)
noche azul mojada de luna y pasion (blue night wet with moon and pasion)
y aparece donde ese hombre, quema la selva y aplasta el amor... (and appears the man that burns the jungle and smashes the love)

Comi en tu mano (i've eaten from your hand)
tu boca me dio de beber (your mouth gave me to drink)
mientras me colabas entre jaulas de papel (while glueing me in between paper jails)
y ahora tu abusas de mi soledad (and now you abuse of my loneliness)
te regalo el cuerpo, no lo quiero, pero mi alma se va... (i offer you my body, i dont want it, but my soul goes away)

Cuantos suenos y mentiras (so many dreams and lies)
en el circo de la vida (in the cycle of life)
e yo... luchare, sobrevivire (and i... i'll fight and i'll survive)
al rastillo que me arrastra hacia tus pies... (to the track that pulls me towards your feet)

Respetame... yo vivo en Libertad! (Respect me... I live in Freedom)

> for all of those who are Slaves of their JOB!

Men Pregnancy is my illusion!

2006-09-19T13:03:00.000-06:00

Walking down the streets of Toronto, two beautiful girls came running after me... after reaching me they asked if they could make me a question, i said: "yes"... they asked: "would you donate your sperm to us?"... LOL... it was weird i couldnt understand if it was a joke or some sort of sexual harrasement... when they added: "you are the image of the man we want to be the "father" (doner?) of our baby"... after a lil talk i understood that they were a couple of lesbians that have been together for 15 years and they had decide to have a child together... as in a bi-racial couple... if i donated the sperm, it would be injected on the white girl: Stacey... but if the doner was white then into: Picco... i found it lovely... i said i wasnt ready to do something like that... (not now, maybe later on in Life) but that i apreciated their love and will of having kids! Now... since very young i always had an "Illusion"... anytime asked what it was i would say: "getting pregnant"... of course never thinking deeply into the matter... i just loved the ideia of carrying another life inside of my body... of being the progenetor of another human being!... Scientists have studied the possiblity, coming to the conclusion that mens body has no structure to persue such thing... but i still believe that one they, hopefully in my lifetime, it will be possible... and i'll be one of the first in line! LOL... Nothing is Impossible! After doing some research i came to the story of Sanju Bhagat, a 36-year-old farmer living in a small village near Nagpur city in India, that was pregnant of his twin brother! Oh WOW... Nature is Amusing!

>click above the tittle if you wanna read about Sanju!

Soundtrack: The Aninal Song, By: Savage Garden

Heritage... Sonia Bucur!

2006-09-18T16:20:00.000-06:00

This is my baby... Sonia Bucur... she is only 3 years old and she is already following the steps of her older cousin: ME! Sonia is the daughter of my Mom youngest sister, Dina, who inspired me at the early age, she used to love Michael Jackson, her "on stage" name was Dina Dickson, she was a Great Dancer! I remenber going to her room full of posters and colourfull lights, i would put a blue wig and dance with her, sometimes holding a George Michael (real size) poster... i think i just knew when i was 4 years old, that he was Gay! LOL... Even tho life took Dina away of the stage, she fell in love with an UN soldier, Dan Bucur and now she has two kids, Andre (11 yo) and Sonia that is only 3 years old and is already following her mom steps, my aunt tell me, that its me, that inspire her, i think its only fair... cuz i followed her too!
Sonia is already a tv star, she is great! She sings and dances and she is a very smart girl, i just watched a tv show were the host asked her: "Who is your Prince?" and she said: "My father!"
the host asked why, she said: "cuz my father and mom give me a lot of caress". She has de most espontaneous and crazy answers, like one day she was in bus with her mom, and a woman asked her: "who do you look like? your mom or your dad?" and she rapidly said: "I look like Madonna, she is my friend" LOL... My aunt thinks i teach her that, but i am so far away... i do like Madonna, its so Cliche! (duh) But the reason why she said that, after i asked her... she explained to me that she has blue eyes and neither her mother or father do! LOL... Madonna does!
Its funny when Sonia came to visit, she asked me to put the Madonna video: "Primo poe a Madonna" (cousin play madonna) in baby talk sounds like: "Kashi pay Madonna"... I would play "hung up" or "sorry" but if i changed to "american life" or any other Madonna song she would say: "Polo peesh ca you pay Madonna" (Paulo please can you play Madonna), it was playing, i think she just dont recognize the old Madonna. It was Wicked! I laughed so much the day i played accidently Shakira, "hips dont lie", and she started dancing... i was so surprised, how can a 3 year old dance like that, and know already so much about pop Culture?!
Sonia calls herself: "Princess" she is all in One... she said it in Public: "one day i'm Cinderella, sometimes i'm Barbie, Floribela, Snow White and my room is always Pink"
I mean, she is adorable! She also mentioned that she always smells good! You can already tell she is a DIVA! If you meet Sonia, she is so friendly she will come to your lap with no hesitation, and if she likes you she will hold you, and ask you: "do you love me?".
Also once, after pre-school, she got home all excited... and she went straight up to her mom and said: "Mom today my friend gave me a tongue kiss (french kiss)"... My aunt got a lil nervous, worried, she didnt know how to react to the new, she is 3 years old, so my aunt relaxed and asked: "who is that mate of yours? and how was it a tongue kiss?"
To which Sonia responded: " Its Daniel, he put his tongue out and kissed my cheeck... you see a tongue kiss" LOL...

I could go for days, with Sonia... my lil princess!

I cant wait to see her grow and stand for "Dakota Fenning"... LOL...

Sonia you did Great on your first tv show!

Beijos Grandes do Pimo! Com muitas Saudades!

>Sonia proudly calls me Meu Primo (my cousin), but i'm the only one she calls that way! All the others she calls them by the name! Why? cuz she used to see me everyday on a Tv Show i did in Portugal... and everytime i showed up she would scream: "he is my cousin, he is my cousin"... LOL... Kids!

Soundtrack: Hung Up, by: Madonna.

Vivre d'amour et d'eau chairre

2006-09-17T16:49:00.000-06:00

Yesterday... i drove to Montreal to be with Vincent and Danielle.

I was supposed to pick up Vincent and his friends to go to "Rougemont" pick up apples...

But as i only left O-town at 2pm cuz i had the to go the doctor... It was late to go pick the apples... but they had a Plan B: Have sopper at Gabu's House with his Mother!

After getting to Montreal and finally picking up Vincent, Gabu, Frederice (a girl), Mathilde and Gabi, what for me was, going to "Rougemont" (thinking it was somewhere inside of the city)... became the beginning of Lovely Journey!

Back to the Highway, heading South of Montreal!

As we were getting close to Bromont, the mountains where getting bigger and bigger, i was wondering if we were going to hit them when Vincent said: "Gabu lives up one of this Mountains".

Gabu said: "yeah man, do you have 4 by 4, cuz i dont know if your car is going be able to reach the top"

I got scared! LOL... but excited... at the end it wasnt that bad, and the car did reach the top of the Mountain to his house!

A House in the middle of the nature, high on top of the mountains... beautifull! A cozy beautiful interior matching the outside, with a swimmig pool, a garage perfectly organized with over 1000 tools, a fantastic "room of music" (the Beatles where all over, Gabu's Father is a Fan), all kinds and types of instruments, a cabinet where they make Mapple Syrup (i've never seen one)... a Wooden House (cattage), a beautifull lake with a "Fountain" and a canoe to ride on it, even a Tend... to camp, not far from the house and a Gnome to guard the garden! I mean... i was Amazed!

I just spent a whole week in NYC, in the highest level of civilization to the next day... be somewhere in such peace and in touch with Nature...

We had dinner... delicious dinner, made by Anne, Gabu's mother, after dinner i had the chance to have a long in very interesting talk with Anne, and she is a Great woman... mother, wife a real quebecoise... that told me: "in quebec we kiss more, we hold more, we are more warm"... she made me want to stay in quebec forever... and it was time for desert! Auch Delicious! And then we all joined in the balcany for a chat and a cigarrette! It was just a Night full of perfect moments! Then we, the kids, considering that they are all 18 years old, decided to go "Marche" (for a walk)! It was dark, very dark, we had Flash Lights... my body adrenaline was always at the top, breathing was hard, even my ears were feeling the pressure of the height... Gabu showed us his home, he didnt need a "Lanterne" he knew the way like the palm of his hand! We sit in a bench to look at the Stars, so bright, we all in silence stood, apreciating... someone sujested to make a Spoon and Sleep there... LOL... then we reach the lake, and 3 by 3 we rowed the river in the canoe... at night! I have chills saying that! Everything was Amazing, but as all the good things in Life, and Life itself... has an END! We went back to the main house and got ready to say BYE! When i was saying Bye to Anne she said: "you are staying?"...

I smiled and said: "i wish, but they have to study and work tomorrow"

She said: "no, you and Vincent are staying..."

LOL... OMG, what had Vincent done, without even asking me?

I was totally surprised... the boys and the girls left... and Me and Vincent were left behind!

The Great END of the Night:

As the tittle of this entry says: Vivre d'amour et d'eau chairre, as Vincent told me, is the same expression as we have in portuguese: Viva ao amor e uma Cabana... i have no ideia what to say in english: Love and a Hut?... but its to describe that when we are in love, we might not have anything, but we if have the one we love and a cattage, cabinet, tend, hut, we survive!

Even tho thats not the situation... yesterday i totally felt persueing an ideial!

Vincent and Me, slept in the wooden house... no light but the one of the candles, no sonoro poluation but the sound of the nuts hitting the roof and the waterfall... if i could only describe this better... at certain point we went outside, our eyes adapted to the darkness, we had our glasses of wine, we were rolled in the bed bags, naked... we sit and we talked for hours, sharing experiences, knowledge and kisses... Underneath the Stars filled Sky!

OUCH... WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT! Perfect!

Anne: "Merci de Votre Hospitalite, Merci Beaucoup"

Gabu: "Muchas Gracias por invitarme, fuiste en verdad un gran Anfitriano, platica el Espanol"

Frederice: "Enchante, tu es tres Belle"

Gabi: "La fois prochaine nous parlerons davantage, Hug"

Mathilde: "Grande énergie ! J'espère que vous vous sentez mieux, Baisse"

Vincent: "Garçon, vous êtes Grand, Stupefier... MERCI, Je vous verrez plus tard, aux revoir"

Soundtrack: Yesterday, By: The Beatles!

Shit Happens!

2006-09-15T20:46:00.000-06:00

Shit Happens!

"the more you fall, the faster you stand up" ... they say, but i say : "if you dont have to go for years of therapy"... Where is the companionship? Are we artist that Egocentric, that even when a member of our group falls, all we care about is our image? and our own business! I wonder what Kelly and Beyonce thought: "I know this bicth didnt just fall"... It's Hilarious! Very Professional tho!
Michelle you better work! Cheers Sista!

P.S.: "i just love the sound of the mic in the ground"

Soundtrack: Soldier, by: Destiny's Child.

In Bed w/ "Reomatic Cold"

2006-09-14T19:48:00.000-06:00

Surrounded by beige walls... i surrender to the power of this bed... that has sucked in all my energy... turning my body into a hotel of weakness... my guests are virus... those that make me fever, make me shake, make me cold, make hot, make me sweat...
Its the Nightmare of the season... or is it another way of saying: "you need some rest".
Tearing my eyes, swallon my throat, increased the size of my head, even my ears have ache...
Is it an Illusion?
Un-able to eat, un-able to sleep, un-able to sing what i like the most!
My dreams are confusing, the sun doesnt shine, all i feel is pain... and hear the sound of the rain!
With Reomatic Cold... the metals hurt, the cold hurts the joints of my weak body!
Suddenly all i wish... is to be better!
No one around, where is my Mom, where are my friends?

All i have with me is Mefenamic Acid!
But you called... you, my new reason of hope... hearing your voice has made me Imune!
I'm no longer ill!

Hello... is that you? Vincent?

"Gunmen" in Montreal!

2006-09-13T14:13:00.000-06:00

The School has barely started and people is already getting Insane! 3 called by the police: "gunmen" went to the cafeteria of Dawson College and started shooting... 12 people is injured in the hospital... one of the guys was killed by the police, another killed himself and the third one is being searched by the police... what causes a total caos, in the city, with helicopters and cops all over... Imagine waking up in the morning to go get some wisdom, instruct yourself to be a better man, and get shot by riffles!

I hope all of those 12 victims can make it... hope no one is in Grave Status!

As for the 3rd gunman... i mean... just kill yourself!

Whats wrong with you people?

Soundtrack: Whats Going On, by: Various Artists!

For Danielle!

2006-09-13T10:49:00.000-06:00

Shooting at Le Parking NightClub!

How much better can it get? Shoot in a Nightclub i go every Thursday and Sunday... dancing to Madonna's song! LOL... with Two Hot Girls (that kissed me all over) and 80 extras! LOL... I love my job! Hey Danielle this is for you! LOL... Look at the monitors or at the camera man... you will find me!

(this is the scene where my girlfriend Nicole (Melanie Venne) dumps me and gives herself to the arms of the Killer)

Its HOT!...

Music Video!

2006-09-13T00:18:00.000-06:00

I Wish That I...

Looking through my old stuff... look what i found! My first video! There are so many wrong things with it! LOL... but i love it! Cuz its the begginning of it all, once me, Bart and Eduardo, decided to do a video at the beach in Algarve-Portugal!... This video plays on MTV/base in Africa till today! And was #1 in Cape-Verde! How Funny is That! If they only knew that all we had was a small camera, and a radio with batteries that died and i had to be singing with no sound! LOL... well... Good Times Good Times! Oh and i never met the girls, they were Eduardo friends... actresses from Italia, one of them had a hearing problem... thank you guys!

9/11... 5 Years!

2006-09-11T23:57:00.000-06:00

5 years ago it was very early in the morning, my phone didnt stop ringing... when i finally got the energy to reach the phone, it was my Mom, screaming at me, scared, asking if i was ok... i said in a sleepy voice: "i'm fine, what did you hear about me this time?"...

she said: "Paulo there are planes destroying buildings in your area"...

i said: "Mom, you are probably watching a movie"... when suddenly all my house started shaking... and a greyish smoke filled my apartment with dust...

It was reality, i lived in Chambers St... its 4 blocks away from the World Trace Center... in the 8th floor, my whole apartment was in glass, my view was the "state of liberty"... i didnt have a straight view to the world trade center, but to Hudson River... it was beautifull...

That day after finally waking up, the city was in Caos, no trains, no phone lines, sirens every second, even the access to the internet was hard! And when i went to send a email to my Mom saying that i was ok, i received one saying: "i love you all"... from Remy. Remy was my booker, from the John Robert Powers, the same agent that managed talent like: Diana Ross, Spice Girls, Brad Pit to name a few... they had an office in the 81st floor of the 2st tower! Remy was starting her day at work that morning and i guess when she felt trapped, she decided to send an email to all her friends... as a good-bye message! I never understood that, till days later, when i finally realized she was gone! It was Horrible! Stories from this un-believeble event, arent hard to find... everyone in NYC had a friend or a known person in the "world trade center", it was one of the biggest employees in town! How many times i went to shop in the mall, how many times i went to see Remy in that office, she would say: "what are you doing here again, i told you i dont have work for you yet"

I was so excited to start working... i would be there all the time, but she would get pissed! LOL...

But i did work with her, with Swatch, Reebok (w/Allen Iverson) and Toyota 4 runner! She was very Business and Tough, but no one deserves such horrible end! At the end... She loved as... and she let us know!

My good friend Rodrigo, a brazilian, had his boyfriend Jack, working there too, they were in love and happy, they had built a life together, after the attack, Jack was gone, Jacks family was against the relationship (hatefull rich conservative family)... they took everything Rodrigo had built with Jack, there was no proove he owned it (you know, gay couples, only now can marry, not in America tho)... Rodrigo, was illegal, and they used that to send him back to Brazil! Just stop and think: "can you imagine losing someone you love, the most, and lose everything you had built with that person, everything, losing a whole life of work, of love, of joy, lose your home" and as if it wasnt enough, sent back against the will to the place, he once runned from! It's like a Nightmare! OMG!... Rodrigo is doing Great now, he is singing and his first album is coming soon, he is in Brazil, its been almost 6 years (when you are deported you can only come back after 6 years)... so he is coming... and i'll be so happy to see him again! I cant believe its been so Long! Time flew bye... After that "nightmare" every one in NYC was more friendly, caring, any minor sound people would be scared, or alert! In the streets everyone said: "hi, how are you," sometimes even a HUG, there was companionship, everyone had a flag hanging out of the window, car or even dressed! It was beautifull in that sense, people got united, we needed to be! In the other hand, America, will never be the same, what before seemed to be the saviour of the World, "the land of the free, and the home of the brave", the land of Spider Man, Superman, Batman... had shown weakness (some believe in purpose, just like me, for economic stability that has only drowned ever since, just look at the "Euro" its almost twice the US dollar)... What is Bush doing to this country?! Its just like any Star, you show weakness, you show being vulnerable and human, like George Michael and the world turns their back at you... only the real ones stay, but the star, doesnt shine as much as before... I'm not sure America has those real ones! Not everyone is Madonna, that can re-invent herself! LOL... America is going down like Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston (World Idols)... for the bad, they did to themselves!

I feel sorry for the Families, and the people that had nothing to do with this but still were victims of it! We had to use masks everyday, we lived in "War Environment"... we all were victims!

But here we stand... hoping and believing in a Better Tomorrow that shall never come!

I share Remys Message: "i love you all"...

Soundtrack: Never be The Same again, by: Melanie C. and Left Eye (R.I.P.)

Strech Till The Sky Touch!

2006-09-11T20:55:00.000-06:00

New York, its the second day of the most fashionable week of the year (it comes actually twice a year)...
If i could do with my body what i do with my mind, i would strech, strech to the point that i could be everywhere at the same time...
I wish i could strech to be in Lisbon, strech to be in Montreal, strech to be in Tokyo, strech to be in Luanda, strech to be in Ottawa, strech to be in Switzerland, strech and more strech...
With the most beautifull people in the world, the edgy fashion, the stylists, the models, the artists... i wish i could strech to be somewhere else, but still be here...
In the early days of the cold winter, in between break ups and make ups, dress and undress, party and rest... i wish i could strech to be somewhere else, but still be here...
Strech to be big to the point that the whole world had a part of me... bigger than a rainny cloud but brighter than the sun...
Strech to be with me, and strech to be with you...
Strech... and i'm streching, till the sky touch!

I'M SO TIRED!

Soundtrack: Just a Breath Away, by: Nadirah Shakoor

I Saved the Last Dance Africa (R.I.P.)

2006-09-07T11:39:00.000-06:00

I know, seems like the whole "black continent" died... no isn't... but its a person with a talent bigger than the continent and unfortunatly with this malific disease than in it takes over...
Today i woke up with this terrible new... Africa, my coreographer, passed away! He had AIDS!
WOW (as a deep breath)... I met Africa... in Angola, he is angolan... i was there promoting my first cd, and one morning in the hotel door-room, Africa: a tinny black man with blond hair and blue contacts! came to me, saying that he runned a dance group called Fitness (the best) and that would love to dance for me cuz he loved my songs... oh wow... i thought: "perfect"... I needed dancers, i was going to open the show for Sisqo (and you know how Sisqo dances)... i had to keep the vibe up for him... I had only one day till the show... he showed up right in time... we set a rehearsal time and at 5pm there i was with his 12 dancers, boys and girls... The show was my best show was the best openning i had up till now... i cried in that show, cuz i just couldnt believe it... everytime i see the tape its just like... WOW! Africa was a "Queen", he knew he was good, he would push the dancers to their limits, and during the shows he had to have the spotlight! Seeing my shows tapes, Africa always had to do something, a piruet, a double turn... in front of me... sometimes i would get upset, several times people told me... you have to tell Africa to stop doing this, he is not the "Star"... but he was, cuz you know, i sing, but the dance in shows is important, and sometimes even the concept was done by him... with his great energy, snob, fabulous... very elegant... demanding, but always for the best! I love love his attitude! We worked together through my whole Openning Tour... with Eve, Busta Rhymes, Shaggy, in the show Best of Angolan Hip-Hop (i have a crazy story about this one)... i mean... me and Africa did so many shows together, he became my coreographer and his dancer my dancers! Africa... you are missed and you will be eternely in my heart! You made your story... i have the proove of it!
I hate to cry... but now i just cant help it... Africa was gay, and he had Aids, but he was ashamed of it... he got very sick with malaria, he was in the hospital, but he never let anybody know, in places like Angola, if you dont pay, they dont attend you, i feel very sad, to know that such great person was there sick, abandonned, just cuz he was affraid of saying who he really was! I hope this serves to you as an example... please... if someone really loves you, they will accept you as you are, so dont be affraid of saying it, we all have to know who is the real people in our lives... so things like this will not happen again!
We have to stop being Cowards!

Africa, your dance steps... will be used... forever, as long as i can move!

Thank You my Friend!

Rest in Peace!

Soundtrack: Before the Night is Over, by: Paulo Pascoal (he loved this song, and it was the first he ever danced for me)

The Creator of Noah's Arc

2006-09-06T17:02:00.000-06:00

The man in this (over exposed) picture is called: Patrik-Ian Polk... Yes, 5 years ago i met him... he was working on the production of his first movie: Punks! A comedy about, gay black men, a must-see! Up till then i had never seen one, neither anyone else! The everyday story of a gay man that falls in love with his best straight friend! Punks hit the movie theatres in L.A. and N.Y. and i was lucky to be part of it! Now... Patrik has his own created and directed TV series called: Noah's Arc! I just wanna give a shout to Patrik cuz even tho he is working in this business with a lot of success, one thing that amazed me is that he is so Humble! He is simple, he is shy, extremely reserved but still sympathic! His (in love) eyes and his smile show a person with a genuine good heart! And he is tall, goddamn he is tall, he is what 7 feet or what? hell he is tall... LOL... His production company is called "Tall Skinny Black Guy"... Patrik-Ian Polk... the creator of the "first gay black tv series" in America and in the world... the world that we are living, today, needs men like him... man that instead of worrying about the word "nigger", sing "i'm a gangstar"... and call their girlfriends "whore".... show that it is ok to be Gay and Black without using "pornography".

Patrik-Ian Polk... You are Brave! It was nice seeing you again!

Soundtrack: Sexual Revolution by: Macy Gray.

Nothing Compares to Me???

2006-09-06T11:17:00.000-06:00

Why people always has to compare you to somebody else? Why can't people just accept you as an individual? Is being authentic, nowadays, such hard thing? or is it, that even if you are, there is always another one like you? As my career takes off, i've had always been compared to someone else... When i started singing several times people compared me to: Michael Jackson, Prince, George Michael and Justin Timberlake! As for the looks to: Maxwell, Lenny Kravitz... and now... Rafa (New Wave) and Darryl Stevens (Noah's Arc)! But... this has gotten to a level that even the press comments! Not only that... being around brazilians they think i'm Rafa, being around americans they think i'm Noah, i bet, if they were in Portugal or Angola, people would think they are me! LOL... even Mito and Joshua (both my very good friends)... look like me LOL... Truth is... They are all Hot Black Men with a Wicked Style and the AFRO (hair)... The good thing is: "any of these Men are a Story of Sucess"... I should also say: "i respect all of them, but i never followed any of them".

P.S.: I've met all of them (expect Prince), I've bonded with most of them (expect Michael Jackson), i have to say that i totally understand why they are the FINEST.

Soundtrack: Black Men United, by: Keith Sweath, R. Kelly, Brian McNight, Gerard Levert and Stokley

MAMA!

2006-09-05T09:57:00.000-06:00

minha rainha, meu idolo, minha progenetora, meu auxilio, minha deusa, meu exemplo...

encontrar palavras para descrever a minha Mama, nao e tarefa dificil, e pensar no melhor que tenho no mundo, e dize-lo de coracao aberto...

a minha Mama para mim...

e poder, e querer, e forca, e coragem, e fe... e a esperanca de um melhor amanha...

e pensar que sem ela nao estaria aqui...

a minha Mama para mim...

e a mais bela, a mais esbelta, a mais formosa...

a minha Mama para mim...

e ver, e sorrir, e chorar, e sonhar...

nao ha nada que eu nao faria por ela, para ela, e muito pouco que eu faria sem ela!

a minha Mama para mim...

e apoio, a opiniao, o conselho, e uma outra visao...

Hoje, 5 de Septembro, e o dia em que ela cumpre mais uma primavera natalicia...

e o dia do seu 45 aniversario!

E esta pequena mensajem, e para dizer: AMO-TE MUITO MAMA!

Tens sido para mim e sempre foste um exemplo a seguir... a minha forca diaria, e a energia para lutar para o futuro que comeca amanha!

Obrigado por tudo Mama!

Soundtrack: Ana Azevedo (MAMA) by: Paulo Pascoal

I Love New York!

2006-09-05T02:07:00.000-06:00

I left O-town to NYC on Friday, i had lost the VMA's, but it was still ok to go, after calling my new yorker friend Joshua, i had made up my mind to go...
3 hours of drive, with my parents and two of their friends, a couple, Joana and Rogerio, there we were at the boarder... a endless line of cars with canadians going to the states for the long labor day weekend!
I was "bored as hell" (in hell i would be more entertained) but suddenly i see this group of Acrobats, that decided to leave their cars, they were loud, seemed like a party was about to start at the boarder, they were just showing off, streching, higher their legs to their heads, side kicks, mortal jumps, suspensions in the top of the cars... i felt like joinning them, they were having so much fun...but i didnt dare! I felt like a little kid looking outside of the window (like when i was a kid and punished, looking at my friends playing soccer, but i couldnt leave the house)! I kept on looking till it was our time to pass the boarder (thats how distracted i got) i couldnt tell i was there for more than 2 hours, so i really apreciated the show the acrobats, or whatever they were,.put on!
We were now in American territory!
Till Manhatan more 6 hours of drive, which made a total of 11 hours, in the car, but sometimes with 8 hours we get there!
It was late, or better, early, 6am, i went to bed! I needed to sleep properly, the long weekend was about to start!
Saturday Morning! Woke up, got dressed, ate, and i headed out with my sister, to go shopping... i had forgotten how it was shopping with a girl, each buy takes 30 minutes... so after 3 pairs of shoes, purses to match and so on... at 6.30pm we were finally done (a whole afternoon)... it was rainning a lot, Ernesto (Hurricane) was un-stopble, i called Joshua to set up the meeting, 8.30pm at Cafeteria (a sex and the city spot).
Before, i went to have a drink, i dont remenber the name of the bar, in Chelsea, i do remenber John, the bar-attender, a 23 year old californian that moved 4 months ago to NY, after leaving the army cuz he got his leg broken twice in different places, so now he is actually receiving a indemnizacion for it, like 38 thousand dollars... LOL... he joined cuz his father wanted him to be an arquitect, but he didnt want to go to school! So he joinned the Army!
He also said that the Army has different branches, that he puts them in this order:

1.Air Force (the easiest, if you wanna go to have a good time, and you got the brains, they call it the Pussies!)
2.Soldiers (not bad, thats what he did)
3.Nacional Guards (they are very well trainned, they all around the country they protect the states)
4.Navy (those are the ones that are sent out, like to Iran and shit, its hardcore, he saw two people commiting suicide)

I mean, i think i might be forgetting one, i'm not sure if its the Marines, but after trying for the First times 4 a drink called: "Sex in the Bath Tub", and having a soldier... you know what i mean, my focus level were a bit distorted! LOL... He told me where to go after, and he also came out to me, saying that now, he was trying to settle cuz when he left he was partying for 4 months straight, and he was trying to get his house together... so he couldnt join me... which was totally ok... i'm sure i'm going to see him again, i got the number and another thing he told me was that, if you join the army, and you dont wanna stay, you go to Jail, cuz its part of the contract... i mean... i have no intentions at all of joinning! I've thought about it, but not anymore, after what i heard!
OK... 8.50pm yeah i was late to meet Joshua at Cafeteria... me and Joshua have a story together, we have the same "EX"(my 3 year old relationship Ex), we always heard a lot about each other, cuz aparently we look alike (the style, the hair, eyes, some say even the smile, the characters are pretty similar too), one day we met up and just bonded, now we are just great, great friends! I havent seen him in ages, like 6-7 months, he looked great as usual, a bit stressed cuz of the fashion week that starts next sunday, he works for Loreal, the official sponsor for most of the fashion weeks in the world.
After dinner, we went to "Element"... the new spot... down on broadway... the music was fine, the people was great, we danced, but we're just both exausted, me cuz of my long hours shopping with my sister and him cuz he had been working till then... so we decided to go home, and Rest!
Sunday... if there is someone that knows how to wake me up is Joshy, he starts slowly waking me up like 2 hours prior the time i really have to be up, its just the greatest feeling! I felt like i had slept more than i actually did, i was finally with some energy, and happy to start to new day! We were up in the Harlem, we took the subway, he went to work, and i had been left alone, so i decided to make myself a treat by going to buy shoes! Then back to my House, but nobody was there, they were at the Brazilian Parade, on 46st 6av, so there i was! I mean, you cant go wrong with more than 1 million brazilians in a party mood (like always)... it was just Amazing! I felt home, shit, Adriana Lima all over the place, and Rodrigo Santoro i'm not even gonna mention! I spent the whole day there, alterning in between the Samba and Capoeira, it was 8pm when i was finally leaving exausted of the huge party, passing by Time Square (picture), when on 42st and 8av i see this group of Blatino Men, shirt-less showing of their rubber bodies (looked like), perfect bodies, they were 6, and they were selling a "Calendar" called: "The Gym Boys". I mean the only thing i regret is the fact that i didnt take a picture, or never dared to go talk to them, i never bought the calendar either... the ladies were going crazy! Just 6 tall, perfect bodied, black male, on the street, for you to touch if you want it... i wonder how many girls went home that night and used them as inspiration! LOL... anyway, NY has that kind of stuff!
I was going downtown, walking, the weather was nice, when i see the huge line up of men... and then i realized, it was 39st and 8av... "Escuelita" location, you know? i didnt really wanted to get in... i knew Romeo wouldnt be there, but... Patrik-Ian Polk, the director of the movie Punks, and the sitcom Noah's Arc (that people says i look like the main guy), was there! WOW... its been so long... 5 years, since the Punks Premiere, i have a song in that movie: "But I feel Love"... i asked him why was the line so big... he said: "Harmonica the resident drag-queen, had been off duty, for the past 5 months, she was very sick, but she is back, i guess people came to show her some Love"...
he added: "i brought some DVD's from the first season of my show, for promotion"
Great! I decided to stay... asking: "so what else is going on here?"
Patrik: "well they have the strippers competion"
LOL... its just my Luck, i try to run from it, but its there...
I watched it all, Patrik kept me company, it was great but i needed to move on...
He invited me to go to Brooklyn, but i couldnt really think of any more, longer than 30min trips, so i let him go, dropping me by with his limo at... HIRO...
... in Escuelita, you have the Black-Latinos... Guetto Vibe!
... in Hiro you have the White... Fashionista Vibe!
I have Fun in both, i'm just that kind of person, that "fits"... in most of the places! As long as i'm Pacient! LOL... The Hiro party used to be in Maritime hotel, and hosted by a good friend of mine, Eric, its definetly, if you come to NY, a place to be... on a sunday, if you are into the Pop Culture, you can always meet Boy George, George Michael, Janet Jackson, Missy Elliot, Pink, Paulina Rubio, Mariah Carey... or every top-model, like Naomi... they are residents of the house! Its a great Party! and the entrance its Free, but its Tough at the door... make sure you bring the Brands or look really "Fashion"! Or you come with ME! LOL...
The Party was good, but those fashionistas, "they dont fuck and they dont let fuck"... they are literaly a "pain in the ass" so i went to Splash... i hate that place... but my friend Juan was there and who else? partying gay style... Christina Aguilera... she was: Ok! The faggots were going crazy, suddenly the whole house music was by Christina!
I left... this time to go to Spirit at Avalon the ex Limelight (the church)... another great party... but it was too much "18 year old twinks"... i was not in the mood, for wannabe Punk or look at me i'm a rebel! i was like that too! So i moved again going to APT... and there i had a problem... LOL... the bouncer was New, his name is Damon (now i know)... i mean he made me wait an hour at the door... it was just fucked up... and he didnt let 2 friends of mine in, from Montreal... i saw him say the most absurds things to people, like this girl that instead of saying his name said: "hey" and then he said: "you dont hey me, good-bye"... and he never allow her in!... APT is another place... its vicious... very small, you can smoke inside... its kind of a private party but with perfect strangers... i was there for a bit... and guess who was there too? He yelled my name, i was like: "who what?" and then he shows up in the smoke: Romeo! He is Looking Great! He left with 2 girls... LOL... typical! He was upset at me cuz i didnt call! And then i went to "Crollbar", the ex sound-factory, re-newed... the party there was going up till tuesday... which means today... but i didnt stay that long... i needed to check every single new spot in town, after jumping-jumping... i just wanted to go to bed, and also cuz its the day i had to go back to Canada... in fact now i'm already writting from Canada! LOL... in the way we sang Happy Birthday to my MOM... today is her day Sep. 5th! I had a Great weekend! How was yours?

P.S.: Next week i'll be there for work purposes, from Sunday on... if you wanna join! It's fashion week!

Soundtrack: New York, New York By: Frank Sinatra

Morangos com Acucar is BACK!

2006-08-31T21:38:00.000-06:00

If you missed the Fun episodes of the 2 season of "morangos com acucar"(strawberries with sugar), if you miss me, or if you miss Adam (R.I.P.)... you can catch up with the episodes, playing every morning on TVI, and if you can, record them for me, cuz i never got the chance to watch it!... Thanks...

P.S.: now just for curiosity, how many black people you see in this picture, that represents a whole cast of a Soap Opera!?...

Soundtrack: Hip-Hop Dont Stop, by: Boss AC.

# 7 on the countdown!

2006-08-31T20:12:00.000-06:00

Oh well, a couple of months ago, i was looking for an agency, actually no, my sister had gone to an agency open call, she came home crying cuz the woman there said that she should lose weight and come back later on the year! That woman turn out to be my Agent, Angies, why? cuz the next open call the agency had, i showed up, just to see how good i was yet to be part of this business! It went well, i'm now part of the Angies Family! The week after she called, to go to an audition in Toronto, for a music video, she said i would go in the car with Chris, we both were auditionning... interesting, time to meet a colegue! Me and Chris drove to Toronto for the audition and we got it, we both got it, it was our first audition and our first job in Canada! The video was for Kardinal Offishall, i was like: "cool a video for a group"... it happens that after calling a couple of friends to know if they knew about the band, they said: "Paulo, its not a band, its a rapper"...LOL... very known around here indeed! He has worked with Rihana, Nelly Furtado and so on... he is big around the pop comercial music world...
The video we shot, was "feel alright", it was a cool day, in a Boxing place, we were pretending we're all fighters! We had to fight an old man, with a full grey head, that aparently won all the sets! LOL... Great concept!
Yeah.. this same video is now # 7 on the countdown... i hope it goes up (for my 12 hours of work)
Kardinal Holla At Ya... i know about your contract with Pepsi (is that really your house?)
Aight!
Peace!

Soundtrack: Everyday Rudeboy, by: Kardinal Offishall!

Chico Adam (R.I.P.) Os 3 Fajutos!

2006-08-31T12:34:00.000-06:00

The meaning of Fajutos, dont ask me cuz not even i know what it means... we just know that we were all Fajutos! Paulo, Adam and Me, we met shooting the soap opera, Morangos com Acucar (strawberries with sugar), in Portugal! Paulo was the main character of the serie (Fred), i was his best friend (Luca), and Adam was the brother of his girlfriend Alice (Dino)... i remenber the first day i got to the studios, Adam came to me, saying: Welcome! We had met before downtown lisbon, i couldnt forget his eyes so clear like the blue of the Hawaiian water, Paulo was the boyfriend of a good friend of mine, Cinha Jardim, i met him with her one night out, he was the typical latino macho-man, hot as hell, no smiles, always serious! LOL... that day i discovered i was gonna play his best friend... our first scene was like:

(Luca and Fred look at each other)

(Luca and Fred hug each other)

(Luca and Fred hug once again)

(Luca and Fred hug again and smile at each other)...

In the soap-opera we were really good friends! But for some reason in real life our personalities were having a big trouble conecting, out of the recording space, we would argue or not even talk sometimes... in between Paulo and Adam, everything was different, they bonded, i would see them hanging around all the time!

I cant explain exactly how it happenned i just know that after 6 months of shooting together somehow we got the chance to know each other better... and the good vibe of the sitcom was transported to real life, suddenly we were "inseparable"! The 3 Fajutos, we were so into each other that we started living together, they moved into my place! It was Heaven... i mean... in between partying, shooting, girls and signing autographs, that was our lifes, always with somewhere to go, even if it was make a 5 hour trip to go see "Dzrt" (the band of the soap-opera) or travel to eat seafood... Paulo was like the father figure (GOD), he would drive us all over, Me and Adam were the crazy ones... the Angels (white and black), thats how some fans would call us... we were all over the place! Even when Paulo was out, or tired to go out, we would do our party... Lisbon was under control, we owned it! But then Octuber came and i had to come to NYC for a show, and i never went back... things started happening here for me, i was done with the soap, and i decided to stay a lil longer, and a lil longer and a lil longer... up till now... my house i left it with Paulo, my home is your home, i have in him a friend, a brother... as for Adam!

Adam, had a car accident april 16th this year, and... he passed away... he was only 22 years old!

This is hard... if i only knew that the day they took me to the Aeroport (picture), was going to be the last day i saw him, if i only knew that day they called me, all drunk, it was the last time i heard his voice... there is nothing i would've changed... cuz we never had problems saying: I love you or I miss you!

We enjoyed every single moment we had together! Adam is the one that started calling me: "Pasky", baby pasky... basicly all my portuguese friends call me Pasky=Pascoal. Once he was so drunk he wanted to sleep, Paulo was busy in the bed-room, and we had to sleep together... and he said: "wow i'm going to sleep with the prince, i feel so honored" and he kept repeating it, till he fell asleep... LOL... he was hilarious! With all the traveliing that i do, Adam once asked: "what is the trip of your dreams?"

i said: "i already made it, coming to portugal"

he said: "mine is to come back to earth"

Stop, think! Adam, was like an Angel... curly blond hair, blue eyes and a babyface, it took a sec to anyone to call him "Anjinho", with a great sense of humour, always smily and happy, he was the favorite character of the kids, "Dino" everybody loved "Dino", in between us, he brought live to the studios every morning even Patricia the producer (some would say: upset lesbian) was in love with him... now when i see the episodes with Adam and Me... i cant think of anything else but the fact that i wish i spent more time with him... more of those perfect times! I also cant help but think that if i was in Lisbon i would've been inside of that car, with them, where only one, out of 4, survived!

Me and Paulo, Paulo (2x), are now left in the world, with no Adam, but i'm sure he is watching over us... he is doing his JOB!

Adam, just make sure you dont party too much up there! Adam its a party himself! Take it easy on the rest of the Angels...

As for Paulo (the sexiest man in portugal, statisticly prooved by public viewer).... We keep it Real and Tight! He is buying a new house, and i dont know how is it gonna be for me back there... i'm so scared! They made me feel home! The truth is that being far somehow helps me overcome easily, i havent been there ever since that happenned... do i want to go? I heard our house was invaded by the fans searching for a solid memory of Adam!

P.S.: enjoy every moment of your life, express yourself, you never know when someone is not gonna be around!

Soundtrack: Angel of Mine by: Eternal!

Romeo and Juliet?! Will Work for Food!

2006-08-30T21:30:00.000-06:00

A couple of years ago in New York City, i went to "Escuelita" a famous dance club for the black and hispanic comunity also known for the its strippers and for the porn movies, every now and then they do a party to release a porn movie... Big Ben is one of my friends... the owner and producer (but hey i never did a porn)! LOL... even tho he has invited me several times! Normally we go have breakfast together... Me, Big Ben and Moses... and they keep on saying: "when you think you cant do this anymore, we'll make you a porn star"
So at least i'll have a future anyhow! LOL...
Continuing... i went there for the 1st time... and there was this: Stripper... Romeo (i mean, how can you not love a guy called Romeo?)... he wasnt the type of beauty i would be attracted to, but his moves were driving me crazy, he had a muscular body and he could move every single muscle in it! I was drewling!
At the time i was in a relationship so i kept the image in my mind but i wouldnt harm my relationship for a night with a stripper!
Years passed, exactly 2 years, and somehow i had still the image in my head: "his curved body drowned in sweat, moving like a snake..."
So one night i decided to pay a visit to the Club again!
And for my suprise, he was still there... dancing his ass off... his body was even better, he had shaven his head... i was drewling as much or more as the first time!
I was single! So, it was the time to make the Move!
I went up to him, and put a dollar bill on the side of his underwear, i looked at him in the eye and when i was leaving he asked: "what are you doing later?"
i said: "i'm having breakfast with you"
he smiled and said: "i'll leave at 2am, wait for me then"
I got all excited, the move had been perfect, i went to the bar and started drinking apple martinis...
2am, he was ready... and i was drunk and hard as a piece of iron!
The closest place open was the McDonalds on 8th Ave and 45st... so there we headed!
During the "Happy Meal", we talked a bit, but he couldnt stop eating... after dancing the whole night i'm sure he had to feed the body, the 19 year old puerto-rican body!
I asked: "so what are your plans for the night?"
Romeo: "i thought i was going to chill at your place, i live in queens man, i cant go there now, my ride is gone" (with the yoh yoh puerto-rican accent, that only made him more attractive)
We jumped to my old dodge van, and he said, he wanted to drive... i have to admit that it was probably one of the hugest mistakes i had made, cuz he had never driven before, and it was just scary... but fun, we couldnt stop laughing, we knew the cops could've stopped us anytime, but we didnt care much, we were both young and restless! Looking for Trouble (literaly)! We bonded!
We got downtown, to chambers st. Safe! There was my apartment, we went up 8 floors, and once i close the door... we started fooling around...
I cant really explain what i felt, it just felt like i was getting something that i've wished for very long! I couldnt Stop, and i didnt care about anything else but possess him!
The clothes were gone and when i was about to introduce "myself in himself"
I heard a breathless but strong: STOP!
"Anh? Stop? Why?" i wondered...
He said: "I'm H.I.V. positive"
I was in shock... not for the new, that was so abruptly said, but for the fact that, this guy had just "saved my life of what could've been a huge mistake i would not have the chance to fix ever"... i didnt have a condom on... i wasnt thinking, and i would've regret it for the rest of my life!
(a lesson of a lifetime, he could've been quiet, or ashamed and now i would've been infected)
I saw tears running out of his eyes, i held him strong, and with no more words we both fell asleep. In the morning we woke up playing as if nothing had happenned... just like 2 brothers... i never asked for an explaination... we hang out for days and days... he told me the story after a long time... his life is the life of lots of boys his age in NYC... a prostitute mother and a pimp father... all he wanted to do was to be a MAN, and be able to survive on his own! Not an easy due in a city like NY with his background! Being around me, helped him, leave the club scene, he stopped dancing and decided to go back to school to finish his degree, i'm so happy i helped in that sense, all i want is his happiness. My drive lessons helped him get a license... i remenber once we got stuck in the highway with no gas... he just couldnt stop driving! Sometimes we would drive Upstate (white planes) and crash in the car for the night, with no heater, in the winter! We used to breakdance in the subway station and make money to go eat at the "applebees" or sing with a lil stereo in TimeSquare! Romeo is a great singer... once he sang for me: "let me love you", and gosh... it was off the hook! oh shit! WOW... good times good times! We also fought several times over Girls, he taught me how to be a Player! I mean there are so many crazy things we've done as the day he took me to meet his parents... LOL... and when i took him to meet mine! It was Hilarious! He was so nervous he couldnt stop talking! This is another person that makes my life worth living, that teach me how to live to an extreme... and show me that there is always a way to overcome a problem, cuz there is others with even more problems and some even cronical... those will never go away, such as H.I.V.!
I Love you Romeo! Hey, would that make of me Juliet? LOL...

P.S.: Now that i started, i will not stop until i can share with the world the stories of the People that has influenced, contribuited and changed my life!

Soundtrack: Let me Love You, by: Mario!

QUICKY a la Francaise! (what a coincidence!)

2006-08-30T15:29:00.000-06:00

I was spending a chill afternoon in the couch of my house watching French TV! Zapping in between "Canadian Idol, French Sitcoms, Oprah and The News", there it was, a face that caught my attention... a beautifull smile! He was the host of a tv show, interviewing two quebecois stars... i couldnt understand much, but there i was mesmorized by the energy and sympathy with which he was running his own show! I caught myself smiling several times, just by looking at him smile!

And thinking... "why i never meet people like that in the streets?" (i do meet them, they are all the friends i have) LOL... its true... but somehow, my day wasnt the best... after missing my trip to Paris! I was feeling like... i needed a friend... but far from home, and with my friends travelling... my only chance was going to the streets and see if i could eventually meet some new ones! (sometimes i'm needy like that)

After a long shower, enough lotion to hidrate my dry body skin, jeans, t-shirt and sandals... there i was looking fresh ready to have dinner with myself... yes, with myself!

I took a cab to Saint Laurent... the street was packed, the night was warm, everyone was friendly... i chose a restaurant to eat, by the look, ordered my food and after i head to another bar terrace to have a couple of drinks just so i could kill my inhibition...

Barman: "what would you like to drink?"

Me: "long island, please"

we were about 10 people in the terrace, i sit in the bar...

Barman: "i dunno why its so dead tonight, the weather is nice!"

Me: "true, where do you think everybody go?"

Barman: "i dunno i think Maddo, every tuesday they have a Drag show that is very good, everybody goes there, too bad, cuz i wanted to make some good money today"

I felt sorry, his intention of making money was totally going to be a failure but i felt like i need to help, so i thought: "i might stick around for a little bit, and give him some good tips"...

We instantly started talking, his name is Dennis, tall, muscular, white kid from Calgary!

He was starving so the security had gone for his Sushi, when the security came, the 3 of us chat about the Movie Festival that is happenning now in the city, soccer, planes and nightclubs... it was a very interesting talk... totally un-expected!

2 hours later, 4 long islands, and my 20 dolars tips... i was feeling, lets say: Tipsy! So i needed to go for a walk and clear up my mind... i said: "ciao guys, take it easy..."

Barman: "hey, go to Maddo, i'm going there after this, see you later"

I found it very curious that he was telling me that, cuz i never showed any kind of interess in having him as my companion for the night, but somehow it sounded good... he is Hot!

I walked... i wasnt sure of where Maddo was, cuz i've never been there... but as he said, it wasnt hard to find, cuz the whole crowed was there!

I stopped at the door to finish my smoke, a drag-queen came to me right away, claiming that i was hot, she kept pulling my t-shirt up, and showing me of to the rest of the peeps... i was very embarassed, but she made her point, she got me" "familiarized with the rest"... i was no longer an "alone guy desperate for some attention", i had gotten my "Ego Treat".

Inside of the bar... WOW... drag-queens all over... the show was very well done... we all know how drag shows are... Gloria Stephan, Madonna, Janet Jackson, Bonnie Taylor, Cher, Annie Lennox... i've seen them all... LOL... then it was time for a break and the drag host was talking, in french, saying that they had some new guests... some artists "in tha house"...

And she yelled: Eric (something)...

people was cheering and yelling... the Eric was Ok... i wasnt sure what kind of star he was... he climbed up to the stage, they talked for 30 sec... and then seemed like the Eric wasnt alone... so he called another star: Patricia (her face was familiar, she does one of the sitcoms i tried to watch during the afternoon)... then Patricia called: Jessica... (the people was going nuts, and i couldnt understand exactly why, but the fact that they were famous)... then Jessica called: Alexis!

(my heart stopped beating)

Pboom Pboom Pboom!

Everything started moving is slow motion!

Alexis was the TV Host guy i was so entusiastic watching his show in the afternoon! Yes, that same guy... i thought: "why i never meet people like that in the streets?" the same guy i smiled everytime i saw him smile", the same guy i was mesmorized by his energy and sympathy!

SLAP SLAP SLAP me, Bitch! (God is challenging me)

I started laughing, it was just too much of a coincidence... but then if we are aware, a coincidence is never a coincidence... there is always a message behind it, and whatever that one was, i was about to find out!

I decided to go to the bar, and get a beer... so i could plan my aproach to them, without looking like a "Star Chaser", of course saying what i'm saying now, and going up to him to say that i was watching him this afternoon on tv, would sound ridiculous, he would think i am a Fan, but i dont even watch tv... so i needed to be cautious! There was one thing i was sure of: "i have to meet him".

I stood at the bar, preparing my trap, and still enjoying the show! When... the group of the 4 quebecois stars comes close and ask me for space so they could use the bar...

I moved a lil... all i wanted was the "3 sec eye contact" with Alexis... but he never looked...

I noticed that the girls were already looking at me... i looked back... and one of the girls, Patricia, made me a sign with her hands as: "come here"...

i pretended i didnt see it, in fact, i wanted somebody else... no girls for tonight!

Then... after they gossip a little, Eric (the queen of the group) decided to make the move!

Eric: "my friends think you are cute"

Me: "thanks"

Eric: "are you american?"

Me: "no, i'm portuguese"

Eric: "Oh, portuguese tres bien, is your first time here?"

Me: "Yes"

(i was being short cuz sometimes i want somebody and i end up being with the friend, so i was avoiding that shit to happen)...

Eric went back to their spot... they were talking, i could tell, about me... and then... there it was...

3 sec eye contact with Alexis... he looked and he waved... LOL... I had spread my poison!

Eric came back asking me to go join them, i did, we introduced ourselves, and while Eric was hardly trying to make his move on me, Alexis was just chilling with the girls, dancing and playing... he is really funny and whatever energy he showed on the show, it was just his natural way of being!

Alexis: "do you wanna go for a smoke?" (with very strong french accent)

Me: "yeah i do"

Alexis: "they dont smoke, so we can go"

Me: "aight man, lets go"

During the smoke, we got to know each other better... it was a nice talk... my goal was done! I met the guy!

I never said anything about the tv show... we went back in... we danced with the girls and then it was their time to go home... we said Bye!

They were Gone!

I felt, lets say: Sorry! But it was ok, my short night had already been full of surprises!

I kept enjoying the everlasting Drag show, its a whole night of shows, and they were fun!

When... somebody pulled my arm... It was Alexis again!

LOL... oh wow... i knew trouble was coming!

Alexis:"what are you having?"

Me: "coca-cola"

Alexis:"no alcohol?"

Me: "nope, where are your friends?"

Alexis:"they left, do you want another one"

I had more than half of the cup full, so no need for another one... i showed him

Alexis: " you are hot"

Me: "so are you"

Alexis: "do you wanna come to my place"

Me: "i rather go to mine"

Alexis: "where is yours?"

Me": "Ontario, Ontario St"

Alexis: "mine is really close"

Me: "mine is not far"

Alexis: "so what you wanna do?"

Me: "do you want to go now?!"

Alexis: "yes, did you ever fuck in french?"

Me: "did you ever fuck in portuguese?"

Alexis: "french is not as big as portuguese"

Me: "i'm sure it isnt"

Alexis: "i've never been fucked"

(i hear that everyday)

Me: "me neither"

Alexis: "lets go"

We took a cab, once we got to my place, he started taking his clothes of... and then we started kissing... violently kissing...

Alexis: "i'm happy i'm with you"

Me: (no response)

Alexis: "let me eat it" (looking at my Oscar)

( the boy was nasty, loud and agressive)

i throw him in my bed (he is stronger but smaller than me, shorter) we were fooling around, he couldnt shut his mouth up...

I grabbed a condom...

Alexis: "wait, you are too big, i've never been fucked, let me fuck you"

Me: "no no no, i'll be easy with you"

Alexis: "please"

Me: "relax"

It didnt take more than 2 minutes, even tho he tried to avoid it, there it was the signs of Pleasure!

Alexis: "i'm sorry, you are too much, i got too excited"

(i smiled)

we were both really exausted just for those 2 minutes...

Alexis: "i have to go i work tomorrow at 8.30am"

Me: "yeah, i need to sleep too, i'm going back home tomorrow"

Alexis: "will i ever see you again?"

(i love to play the mysterious, i never answered)

we got dressed, i got a cab for him...

Alexis: "my number is 993.... can you memorize it, call me when you are back"

Me: "we will meet... ciao"

I totally inverted the situation, when he could've had been in control... now all i have to do, is wait for the scenes of the next episode!

And even now i just cant believe that i Fucked the guy i saw on TV that same afternoon! What a coincidence!

Soundtrack: I Saw the Sign, by: Ace of Base!

Busy(mess) Days in O-town!

2006-08-27T18:11:00.000-06:00

After a long Thursday night in Montreal with Danielle, Rodolfo and Yerko... i woke up at 7am, Friday the 25th
I got to Ottawa from Montreal, at 11.30am, my ride home got to the station at 12(noon)...
My first job was at 1pm, but i should had gone to MAC on Rideau Center at 12.30pm for make up and hair...
I never made it, cuz i had to go home first get my car and then go to the shooting, as i couldnt had done the make up and hair at the center, i went straight to the shooting place and did it on my own!
LOL...
What a mess!
I was shooting a print ad for a the t-shirt label "Daisy" (which means: Native of)! Like, i'm daisy of Africa!
And i had as companion, Helex my agents adorable daughter!
At 3.30pm i had my second job of the day... with Giant Tiger, for the winter flyer coming out sept. 20th... and so i was released from the first shooting at 3pm... but i had the wrong address, and when i got there at 4pm, half hour later...
i was tired and stressed out, around 4pm the roads here get busy, it was hot out, and i hate having the AC on... allergic to AC... i got to the place... parked the car, went straight in...
when... i see this 3 "personnes" i've never seen, giving me a nasty look... knocking their foot on the ground as if saying: "we are tired of waitting for you".
I though: "shit, now i am fucked"
I looked at them and said: "ok, i surrender"
They started cracking laughing at me, like: "we are so mean, poor kid"
Then one of the Giant Tiger representants said: "we had a whole dialogue ready to put you down (they had half hour of prepare it)... but after seeing your face, we just couldnt go ahead... lets work"
I got dressed and... flash flash flash... i heard: "we got it"... and done!
What a really like about working with giant tiger (second time they contract me), is the fact that they pay 75 dolars per hour, but you only shoot for 5 minutes and you are gone!
Next thing i know is my mom has the flyer hanging in the friedge door, with all the information about the sales of the store... its hilarious!
After i was done with G.T. i had to go back to my prior shooting... but it was late... so Jef Harris (the photographer) said i could go home.
But... i didnt.. i passed by my agency to see how is my schedule so i could leave to Paris... to see Madonna with my friends, Danielle, Oliver (in Switzerland) and Rodolfo (who is moving there today to study cook at Cordon Bleu)... and then after the agency, i had to go to make some fittings for the fashion shows organized by the Velvet Production and Stephan Klovan for the Pride Festivities in O-Town...the first fitting was sponsored by: Trustfund Stores... then i went to pick my friend David for an ice-cream... he came to the second fitting with me, sponsored by: Babyface Stores!
After dropping David back home, i was feeling like, i needed some rest it was already 9pm... but... Helex (my agent daughter) was doing a "Going Away" (to Italy) party... so i joined the Crew (Angies Crew- the name of a group of 12 models from my agency, incluiding me) lets say: Trustfull People with who we can share!... We went to "The Drink", i couldnt stay long cuz my friend Jason (that also moved to Montreal) was in Town, so i joined Jason for a Tequila shooter, at "Blue Cactus" with Marta and Michel... we had some Drama, but with Jason its already normal... LOL... (he is gonna kill me)... so much drama that i left tearing! We just get too emotional when Jason is drunk!... LOL... then... i went back to the Crew... they were waiting for me in my car... after we head to Kylies house, for some more drinks and chat... but... people was falling asleep, so me and Nathaniel (who just booked a reality show: Amazing Race, Congrats boy) decided to leave for more excitment and so, we got it and it was early saturday when once again i was finally laying down in my beautifull queen size bed!
Saturday 1pm, getting ready to leave the house...
4pm was the rehearsal of the benefit capital X magazine fashion show at Helsinki!
After hair and make up...
A couple of rehearsals... with lots of turns and turns...
A Sandwish of Cheese and Salad (thats all they gave us to eat)
The show only started at 11pm...
It was Good... could be better... always...
Then we left to party a little .. horrible skectched-out environment, models and drugs... sometimes doesnt quite work, they were freaking out... hating each other for no reason... alucinating!
And so for me the party was over... back home... slept... not much...
Sunday, 12(noon) awake, back to work...
At VIVA, bank street!
Funny is that everytime i do one of those (free of payment jobs for charity) i say: "i'll not do this again" and why?
Cuz they are for free and they are always the less organized and they take forever... Almost 10 hours of work, yes... forever, sometimes no food, no assistence,, they are some just ridiculous!... but today it was "FUN"...
I got to the the Babyface store and the show that was suppose to be at 2pm, had already been delayed to 4pm, they said:"you can go and come back"
LOL... of course, but if i did go, i would never come back, so i stick around...
There was a photographer hired to take pictures of us in the store clothes for them to use it for publicity and the catalogue... so it was fine, 4 hours would do...
4pm the show was about to start... but it was rainning and the show was outside... so we had to "wait a lil longer"...
After doing the first part of the show... the place wasnt really packed and Stephan (the contracter) wanted us to "wait a lil longer" for the public...
It was already 5.30pm and we were sent to eat.. this time, we could choose anything out of the menu.. LOL... so i had a "Chicken Quesadilla"...
At 6.30pm back to the store to change, and grab a "gay flag" to give it up to someone in the public and wish: "happy pride"...
It was scary to see the public, the scum of the after-hours, this people had been partying since friday, not sleeping, and they were there, just cuz there was loud music, and they still wanted to keep on partying... it was too much!
It was almost 9pm when i was going back home...
My Sisters were back from New York, it was my brother birthday (JP i'm sorry, now you know why, I Love you BRO), even tho he is in NYC, and i forgot about his birthday for the first time in my life, he sent me a beautifull Gift (those are HOT)... its been 2 months man, ouch!
The best thing is after crazy days of work, and my total exaustion, getting home, with my family, they are always so full of energy and they laugh and tell me stories... its just great!
But i cant stay any longer, cuz at 11.59pm... i'm taking the bus to Montreal...
That was my weekend...

"V" for "Virginity-Less"

2006-08-24T01:16:00.000-06:00

It was a beautifull summer day, in Lisbon, the portuguese capital...
I had arriven in town for the summer holidays, from Spain, i decided to get a summer job.
I was 14 years old, went to the interview and got the job at "Virgin Megastore", located in Restauradores, meaning downtown Lisbon!
After I been working there for a couple of weeks, it definetly made me Love music even more, i was aware of all the new artists and albums, music in general, i was also a very good sells young teenager! LOL...
One of the days i was working and suddenly i see... i see the Woman that would make of me a Man (if having sex makes you a man anyway)
She was short, dark brown hair, very tanned skin, big brown eyes, beautifull lips... she was there... Looking for an Enrique Iglesias cd!
I asked if she needed help, she said yes, she looked at me in the eyes, i felt like a cupid narrow striking my heart, i wasnt confortable with the feeling, i was too young, and a bit shy, but i took her to the spot where she could listen to the cd.
I tried to keep on working, but... her eyes, her eyes were following me around, every move, every step i took...
My time to leave, came, it was time to go home... i went downstairs, undressed the uniform, and came back up, kind of expecting to see her again...
But she was gone!
I felt kinda disappointed, i felt like i should've had asked for a number, you know, kids talk!
Even tho she looked much older than me, i wasnt affraid to make a move, but it was too late, she was Gone!
I left the store... heading to the Metro Station (subway) when suddenly she is coming the other way, like, i was going down, she was coming up!
We crossed, our eyes interacted... there it was again, the LOOK!
I kept on going down, and she kept on going up!
I thought: "Shit i should've said something" then "imma go after her"
And so i did... i decided to go up towards her... and when i finally see her again... she was coming down! LOL... We crossed again!
I got desperate, affraid of being obvious and affraid of she thinking i was chasing her (and i was).
So I decided to go talk to her... i went down, and when i was about to say a word she said:
"Ola, tens esqueiro" or "Hi, do you have a lighter"
and i had, so i handed it to her...
There was the stupid akward silence while she was enjoying the first drags of her smoke!
I couldnt think of anything to say... so i said: "hey, do you have a sister called Mafalda?"
(obviously i totally made it up, i never knew a Mafalda in my life, but in the Cartoons) LOL...
She said: "no, do i look like her?"
I said: "yes, actually..." (there i was i had made my move)
We talked while walking, a lot, she asked me where my accent was from, i was living in spain at the moment, and her mother was spanish, she was from Madeira (one of the portuguese islands) and so we had a lot to talk about... we talked and talked... then we went to "Augusta Street" (its like a main street for consumers)... we sit in one of the tables and asked for a coffee... (i had never had coffee till that day, but somehow i didnt want her to think i was a kid)
I kept pretending i was an adult very well...
It was 4pm when i left work, and we talked so much that suddenly it was 11pm! We were talking for only 7 hours! I felt like i knew her my whole life... LOL... It was great!
I said i had to go home, she said she did too, i said we could share a cab, she said that it was ok, cuz we lived close by, but my stop was first, and then hers... she didnt mind!
During the talk she told me she was 25 years old! Thats only 11 years older than me! LOL...
I was In Love! It was Love at the first Sight! LOL... (says Kylie Minogue!)
She was the most beautifull thing i had ever seen! I said i was 19 years old!
She told me i was very Mature for my age! (can you imagine if i had said i was 14?) LOL...
We took the Cab... we kept on talking, i didnt know i could talk with someone for so long, but i was enjoying every single moment of it!
We got to my place, i asked if she wanted to say Hi to my aunt... she said Yes!
I used to live in a "Barrio" called Madredeus, it was only houses, small houses, with 2-3 floors and a garden... like little "American Dream", the Ex-president of Portugal, was my neighbour, his name was: Ramalhantes (is he dead yet?).
As i was just staying for the summer, i had my room in the actual living room of the house, so the front door would take us straight to my little room... we passed it, and we went to the dinning-room where my aunt was watching T.V., i introduced them, my aunt said: "WOW, you are beautifull" i felt so proud! She felt unconfortable!
Then we went back to my (living) room, and we decided to play the cd that she had just bought: Enrique Iglesias! LOL... we kept on talking... seriously i dont even remenber about what i just know that we talked so much so much, we always had something to talk about!
Then there was the akward silence again!
She asked me: "do you have the new Celine Dion cd?"
I said: "yes"
She said: "can you play it?" (her voice was like water to my ears, so clear and soft)
I said; "sure"
I grabbed the cd, and... Play!
She said: "Please put the song number 6, listen to the words, and imagine thats me talking... thats how i feel"
LOL... my english wasnt even good at the moment, but for some reason i understood it all!
The song said:
"i'm scared, so affraid to show i care...
will he think i'm weak, if i tremble when i speak...
what if, there is another one he is thinking of...
maybe he is in love, i'd feel like a fool... life can be so cruel... i dont know what to do...
... but what you must understand, you cant let the chance to love him pass you by...
tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes... and whisper tender words so soft and sweet...

hold him close to feel his heart beat...
... love will be the gift you give yourself..."
Those were the frases i could understand... and suddenly my heart started beating so so so fast!
My whole body was shaking, i couldnt speak, i was trembling sit in the table where the cd player was... she was in a chair in front of me... i felt like she could feel my body through the floor, it was like an earthquake...
She went down in her knees, and held my knees, i went down aproaching her face...
and there it was my "First Kiss"...
Her tongue felt like velvet caressing mine, i could feel her breath on my face, her smell, the touch of her hands in the back of my neck... i felt like i wanted to be there forever!
Like i could just "PAUSE"my Life!
We kissed, and we kissed, and we kissed... i couldnt stop shaking, but there was no need for words!
Then when we for a while stopped... i turned off the lights and guide her to my Mattress, cuz i had no bed, and i lighten some candels... i knew it was about to happen, i wanted to make it "Special"...
We lay down, all while kissing... then i said: "i've never done this before"
She said: "No? dont worry i'll take good care of you"
We both smiled... and there i was inside of her body! Such warm, cozy place i could live inside of her!
As if we had melt into ONE! As if there was nowhere else i wanted to be! As if i was finally a MAN!
The night fell and the morning rase! We didnt get much sleep! I was 14! LOL...
In the morning my aunt passed by my room to go to work... i felt so proud, i almost stood up naked in front of her... but she, she was embarassed!
We spent the whole day in Bed! It was amazing, i can still feel, chills when i think of it!

That was my First Time!

Reality Check: "of course we were never able to have a relationship, she kept on saying i was too young even tho i wanted to proove her wrong. We met 2 more times during that summer, one of them she took me to her house, she had 11 dogs, LOL... then i went back to Spain, and 6 years after i met her again, and we had sex, it was still amazing, now we talk pretty often and we even met last year before i came to Canada, she is married now, but what i want to say is that i'm happy for being able to have her still in my Life!"

Soundtrack: Could i have this kiss forever, by: Enrique Iglesias duet w/ Whitney Houston!

Total Audition Failure!

2006-08-23T19:12:00.000-06:00

So... yeah... my head is upside down!
Yesterday i was in Toronto, for a PowerHouse casting...
I left Ottawa at 9.30am to go to the audition that would take place at the PowerHouse studios on Berkley street at 4.00pm...
The Bus got to Toronto at 2.30pm and so i had time to go check for my "Perfume", and i did found it... so i'm happy now! Quite! It took an hour but there it was at Young street "Sell it all" Shop!
After that no, more time left, time to catch a Cab and go straight to the auditio spot!
I got there... girls all over in all types of outfits, some of them rehearsing dance steps, i saw only 3 guys... pretty quiet!
Fill out the form, took the snap shot, waited for an hour till they called my name...
Let me tell you, i wasnt in a good mood at all, i hate waiting, specially having all 12 year old screaming around!
Ok... i got into the the audition room... i said: Hello!
Powerhouse Woman there said: "So PaOlo, is that your name?"
Me: "yeah sure, but its said: PAUUUULO"
PH Woman: "ok, do you dance?" (duh... what a hell was i doing there if i didnt)
Me: "hahahahaha, yeah, i went to school for it" (like, are you stupid or what?)
PH Woman: "what type? cuz we need people that can dance it coreographed" (is she dumb?... Help!)
Me: "hahhahahaha, (kind of saying go to hell) what exactly do you want me to show you?"
PH Woman: "Ok (kind of saying we got here an asshole) have you prepared the 2 min. coreography?"
Me: "uhm... i had no ideia i had to..."
PH Woman: "Ok, well, go head, slide, we play the music, you just groove into it" (she had an Evil look in her eye)

They were like 4 people inside of the room, the music played, i started to groove into it, when i heard... STOP! Its fine!
I Stopped, i said: "Thank You very much" (leaving the room)
When i heard: "are you the kid from Ottawa, you came all the way in for this?"
Me: "(in a sarcastic tone) yes, all the 5 hours way straight here for this"
Other PH Woman 2: "we apreciate your time, thank you very much"

I mean, if people cant take their job seriously, i do take mine, if they talk as if they dont know what they are doing, how am i suppose to react to such absurd questionary?...
I know, my attitude wasnt the most adequate, but... i woke up early, spent 5 hours sit in a fucking bus, i went there on time, had to wait an 1 hour, with no strech, beside the fact that i just got back from L.A., and i'm fucking exausted and i was starving! Those are the things that i can never say, cuz i have to be smilling and pretending that i am gourgeous and confident!
Yes, no, i didnt got the Job, cuz i was probably an asshole, i know, but i was more upset by the fact that i didnt get the whole information about what was i suppose to do, and the fact that i hate when young girls are ahead of castings, cuz that means that you have to lick their asses, and thats something i dont do! LOL...
Good thing is, when i was leaving the place, this young man came to me, asking me to do another audition the next day, and when i was about to grab a cigarrette to relief my stress, this old lady said: "you got it cuz you are cute"
LOL... i said: "i dont think so"
She said: "you have a very good look, do you wanna come for an audition tomorrow?"
i said: "i'm affraid one of your mates had already made the approach..."
She said: "ok well, so then tomorrow at 11.15am, we will wait for you"(she lighten off the cigarrette)
I said: "ok tomorrow i ll be here (again) i'm Paulo" (we shaked hands)
She said: "i'm Gloria (something)... i'm the director"
LOL... if you can talk to God why care about what Jesus said.
She said she would call my Agent about them she also mentioned: "i love Angie and Lou they are the best"...
(she walked in)
i was excited, cuz i just had a total audition failure, but something bigger was coming next!
Unfortunatly she got over excited and they wanted me not to be there today, but tomorrow, the truth is... i am working tomorrow in Montreal, shooting my sitcom, and i have the rest of the week booked in Ottawa, i had to cancel the audition! I still had to go to work after all!
Well, next time Gloria!

Bottom line: i'm having a bad time accepting the fact that i didnt book the job, and also i have to say that i rarely fail an audition, i got most of them in my life, LOL... well, sometimes when you think you are it all, something smaller comes and let you know that it isnt quite true! There is my lesson, Paulo you can be good for some people, you are not good to all of them! LOL...

Soundtrack: Wannabe, by: Miss Swan!

"The Dreamer" is over!

2006-08-21T18:31:00.000-06:00

10 years ago, i lost my virginity, the same night after, long hours of sex and multiple orgasms, i had a shower and i needed some perfume, as it was an habit for me to wear cologne everyday, and i was given a lil sample bottle of "The Dreamer", and i heard: "my ex wears that, its versace, its new"... (stupid bitch, you took away my pureness and talking about the ex?) Lets see the "bright side" you introduced me to what had become the Fragrance of a Decade! ahhahahaha...
I dont know if it was cuz i had fucking great sex for the first time, but when i openned the bottle, i instantly loved the smell of it... it was probably the "MEDUSA" effect (Medusa is a Goddess that if you looked at her in the eyes you could never get your eyes off her)... its also the symbol used by Versace (R.I.P.). Truth is i was never able to stop wearing the perfume... i fell in love with the scent of it... what a exquisite combination!!
Its been 10 years, i never wore another fragrance, if you know me, you know what i am talking about, the way i smell its like a "Brand", its registed, most of you enjoy it... hahahahahahahaha... i've changed so many things in my life, i never changed the way i smell!
Unfortunatly it was not a Best Seller and the Versace company, stop manufacturing it... and now, my last bottle is over and i cant find it anywhere...
So my dear friends thats the part where you pump in... go to the "Perfumary" close to you... and if you find a bottle of "the dreamer" let me know or just be nice and ship it to me!LOL... i'm sure you havent given me a birthday gift yet! LOL...
As for me i'll keep praying: "... Versace, nao sou digno que estejas no meu Armario, mas este perfume seu, bastaria para salvar-me... Amen"

I already wrote to Donatela, but i figure that its gonna take a while! I need it now! I get nauseous if i wear another one! You wouldnt undertand its been 10 years! LOL...

Aight.. so what are you waitting for? Plizzz go!

Soundtrack: Tell Him, by: Celine Dion and Barbara Streissand (everything started with this song)

"The Witches of Beverly Hills"

2006-08-20T22:47:00.000-06:00

Do you remenber that movie called, "The Witches of Eastwick" ?

If you dont, you should watch it... first time i saw it i was like 7 years old, and i kept it recorded in my mind... up till a couple of months ago when i re-watched it after finally finding it at HMV store!

I think, the reason why, its cuz i always wanted to have special powers, well, i'm already doing it in fiction, with the Power Rangers, but i always wanted to find those two other friends to do "The Craft" with... and i think i found them! LOL...

So... for the new "The Witches of Beverly Hills" instead of having: Cher, Susan Sarandon and Michelle Pfeiffer... you will have: Naomi Campbell, Paris Hilton and Paulo Pascoal!

You choose who plays who!

Now we just have to find the victim, in the original was Jack Nicholson (is he dead yet?)

This ideia was given to me by Diego.

A good potencial for the role, would be Ray DeRousse! LOL... (always wanting to kill my girls)

But our list has a lot more than that:

Oprah Winfrey (nothing is really new and fresh if there is no Gay on it, she could spend on us too)

Donald Trump (he really needs some hair advices, he is looking for a wife, we dont mind having a lil of the Trumps Empire)...

LOL... argh... it could go a lil longer... but...

As for new hotties in the market, the girls said: "Fuck Brad Pitt, Fuck Tom Cruise"

Lets bring to the table: Channing Tatum and Wentworth Miller! (if you look like that email me, you could have a role in the movie, LOL)...

" the girls wouldnt mind a channing tattoo, they would've went worth miles for it"

even tho we could choose some other hot fresh women... its enough with Naomi and Paris, they dont wanna lose the spotlight!

I have to give a shout to them: "Naomi its your 20th aniversary of career with sucess, Cheers babe, you are HOT eternely... Paris, Congrats you are the most over-rated person in the world, classified by the Guiness Book, you made history already, thats my girl!" hahahaha...

As for me... i just signed my biggest movie contract of all the times... by now! (",).

Well.. Ok OK... that was a trip... i loved it! Thanks... keep yourself Posted!

Soundtrack: Hollywood, by: Madonna!

Beverly Hills Exit!

2006-08-20T17:07:00.000-06:00

Oh wow, here i'm again! Not happy at all... LOL... i just cant relate to this kind of life style, but something pushes me to it!... its scary to look at sunset blvd and see all the rolls-royces and the barbies that own them, its almost depressing, i wonder? is it cuz i cant have one yet? I dunno... but i'm not the envy type of guy! Sorry, this piece of town its so superficial that i cant tell if i'm talking to a real woman or to a Barbie, feels like when i was a kid and i could only think about playing with dolls! i do wanna play with them tho!

LOL... my room-mate Ajay, is like a barbie in a male form... can he bend? he is adorable! I've been now in my room for 4 hours, the night is coming and i'm almost scared to go to the streets... is it contagious? will i get like that if i stay here any longer?

Bah... and this hotel room? ish... everything is so... white, pink and gold! Just like the people, so much tanning, and blonds in pink clothes! are they for real? Everyone looks the same!LOL... i think i should prolly get one of my bathroom utencils and try to sell it in the black market!

Do they really believe in living like this? LOL... and i complain about my brothers, when there is people that only think about parties, plastic surgery, and hooking up with the directors, everyone is an actor, i'm fucked! LOL... West Hollywood is not very far from here tho... too bad i'm leaving tomorrow, at the end... i think i do wish a lil of this... let me call Paris Hilton... its time for a Beverly Hills Exit...

I'm coming out so you better get the party started, says: Pink!

Soundtrack: Stupid Girls, by: P!nk!

Where Am I From?

2006-08-19T17:36:00.000-06:00

YES! do you know those flags? LOL... they are all from PALOP (Portuguese Spoken Countries)... Its Mom+Dad=Me. LOL...

But, even though i was born in Portugal, and i have a social security number and i pay for taxes there too, i dont own a Passport from there, and why? cuz the federal law says so.

Meaning: The law in Portugal that says that who is born in Portugal is a portuguese citizen was banned in 1981 after the enormous flux of imigrants from Africa: Angola, Mocambique, Guine Bissau, Cabo-Verde. Which were colonies of the Portuguese State untill 1975. Yes, Africa speaks portuguese too! But in my case, being from 1983, and being son of foreign parents, the state considers me an accident, meaning... its like as if my parents where travelling, my mom was pregnant and i was born while they were passing through Portugal... does it make any sence... arent pregnant women un-able to travell after the 7th month? i wasnt premature! Not only that but also the fact that my parents lived a "long beautifull love story" 6 years till i was born! So they were residents! Well... what i need is a Lawyer! So please... I'm waitting! Its now convinient for me to be a part of the European Comunity!

Soundtrack: We are the World, by: Michael Jackson and Friends!

2006-08-19T16:44:00.000-06:00

Janet Jackson Video: Together Again!

After mentioning the Janet Jackson video, on the post: "Eye Candy for Keisha Chante", i received requests for this video, most of you dont remenber the video, also i didnt know most of you at the time! (i'm the skinny dancer on the back with blue hair) Oh Man, i was so Young, this is one of the things i'm most proud of! LOL... Good times, Good Times!

Movie: Little Miss Sunshine!

2006-08-19T15:40:00.000-06:00

If you wanna know the 9 steps of the Program: "winner and losers"...

If you wanna know the reality of a lot of "American Families", kind of: Spears and Simpson, in the early career...

Go see this Movie, with a gentle touch of cruel humor is one of the best i've seen lately!

Obrigado David pelo convite!

Little Miss Sunshine Soundtrack! (not available yet)

Eye-Candy for Keshia Chante!

2006-08-19T10:16:00.000-06:00

Keshia Chante is a very talent girl, from O-town, that had a big time Hit, Unpredictable, she was only 15 years, that was 3 years ago (that means that now she is actually 18, humm!) Good Stuff!

Anywho, Keshia is coming back, with her new album, and the first single, already playing in the radio "been gone" and now is time for shooting the video...

My agent called me saying: "Paulo they read your Resume, they saw Janet Jacksons video, they really want you to be the lead guy... i dont think they can do any better than you in Ottawa...and Keisha said, please make him come" LOL...

BAH... what a love in my career is that i've done a lot of different crap: from Giant Tiger flyers, to Target ads and comercial, from Gap to D&G, from extras roles to lead roles, from back up dancer to eye-candy to broadway, from back vocals to having albums out, from Loreal spray boxes to Samsung, from shows in the Mall to fashion weeks! I just really enjoy what i do, and the fact that i dont get over exposed! I've even done Lavalife, for godsakes! LOL...

Hey Keshia... unfortunatly i'm leaving to L.A. and i wont be able to make it!

I wish you all the best, i read the whole story for the video, i think its "Sick"... doing the type: "Save the Last dance", "Step Up" kind of video always works, i love that you are using Ballet dancers on it too, the shoot its gonna be in Toronto on the 25th... Dancers that are interested... call me or email me, i'll hook you up, for tomorrow at 1pm in Toronto!

Keshia your song is HOT!

Soundtrack: Been Gone, by: Keshia Chante!

Naked in a NightClub! (the Craziest Story ever)

2006-08-18T14:52:00.000-06:00

Fact! A couple of Months ago, May, i was in Toronto for a week of work, finishing exactly on a Sunday...

I had met new friends, the Shim sisters (Janet, Stacey and Gina), i was excited about it, they are from Korea, and i want to have Koreanegro kids, so you know... LOL...

It was prolly the week i did, the most this year, lots of different jobs, from comercial to ads, to videos, to fashion shows, i was even recording a tv show called, Degrassi- the next generation, and i was auditioning for HairSpray!

But for some reason, i couldnt stop partying either...

I partied like an animal from thursday to saturday, and i was also not sleeping properly cuz i had to work early mornings... sunday came i was still partying, and working... but it was the day i had to go back home, so i decided to take the bus at 12 (midnight) going back home.

Before that, after work, i called Janet and she said: "Paulo, go to CZ nightclub, and wait for me there, i ll go pick you up"

I said: "ok, i will be waitting there for ya"

and so i did... i went to the Bar and i had 2 beers while talking with a group of Brazilian girls.

and for my "Sadness", thats all i remenber... it was 7pm in the afternoon.

Next thing i know:

I was in the Hospital, with 3 cops in front of me, one of them a female, and a guy in white, i suppose a doctor... they were looking very concerned and trying to talk to me... i couldnt see clearly, it felt like i was dreaming, till i heard: "do you think he was raped?" (said the female cop).

Suddenly what felt like a dream, was my reality, yes, i really was in the hospital, and i wasnt dreaming of "sexy hot cops"in uniforms... it was my reality... not as great as it sounds tho!

I looked down my body, and i was wrapped in orange sheets, under that, i was butt naked, not even my underwear was there, i panic, i was shocked, i started to cry like... (my biggest fear in the world had just happenned: i was raped). The only thing i could say was: "Please help me".

They tried to calm me down (impossible mission at the time), they asked me if i could say what happenned, if i knew where i was... i said: "confort zone night club".

They looked at me like: Ok another one of those cases.

The doctor said: "i'm gonna take you to examination now, and the cops will do their job"

I kept crying...

The cops left, i went to the examination room... we got started!

(even tho i should prolly worry about other things, like diseases, i just couldnt deal with the ideia of having my "virgin ass" invaded by a stranger)

I let the doctor do their job!

Then he told me: "you were not raped, you are fine, the cops found you naked in the park, do you have any ideia of what happenned?"

While he said that i had a vision, like flashes in my mind: "a man hitting me on my stomach" the other: "me looking down to my red shoes while walking" and then another: "and old man with an ambulance"...

I never mention anything to him... i kept myself quiet, i wasnt sure!

and then he said: "... you came with the ambulance not long ago, your eyes were always openned but your brain was SHUT..."

That was like the CRAZIEST thing that i ever heard about me!

After a while:

The cops came back, the girl was holding a blue bag, she had a smily face, the guys were kind of gigling...

I thought: "do they think this is funny?"

One of the male cops said: "bro, you are fine, nothing happenned to you, you were not raped, you just drunk too much, and you started taking your clothes off in the club, and they kicked you out".

I looked at him like: "whatta hell are you saying?"

The female cop said: "yes, you took your pants off and put them under the speaker, your shirt you put above the bar, and then you took your underwear off and lay down on a couch they have there..."

FUCK, you know folks, i am not even the type of guy that takes the shirt of when i'm in the club, it doesnt matter how hot it is i always keep my clothes on, it all sounded ridiculous to me.

The cops handed me the blue bag, inside of it were my clothes, my phone, my wallet, everything. They said: "you go home and rest bro..." and left laughing.

I felt so Stupid, yeah, so embarassed... i said: "i didnt even drink that much, i had 2 beers"

The doctor asked me: "which day is today?"

I said: "The 18th?"

He explained: "yeah you see thats when your brain SHUT off, today is the 21st of May, you probably have been working hard, you are over exausted, and sometime your body reacts like that, even tho you thought you were fine to go party, your body needed rest, and as you didnt, your body did it itself, while you were at the club your brain went to sleep, you created your own "confort zone" (the same name as the club), i suppose your room, the places where you put your clothes, you transported them to the club, and the couch was your bed, and as you sleep naked, you got naked, exposed"...

I was Perplexed... but it all made a lot of sence to me!

I thought: "wow i'm going to bed before i start jerking off here too" LOL...

YEAH, i wasnt raped, but it was fucking scary.

He told me to have some vitamins: E and Omega 3... and get lots of Rest in the next days!

I called Janet, she was crazy looking for me...

When she came she was like: "Paulo what happenned to you? i tried talking to you in the club, but you wouldnt answer me, i thought you were upset cuz i was late..."

LOL... the shit that happens to me... hey, please dont tell this to the Press, ok? LOL... and oh... my blood was clean too!

My advice: "always make sure you get some rest".

Soundtrack: Party all the Time, by: Sharam.

Danielle et Moi!

2006-08-18T09:22:00.000-06:00

Danielle is my dearest friend, she is 23, and she is a marathon runner...
A girl that has energy all the time, full-time, she is just non-stop...
Never loses the day light even when she had been working the whole night...
Instead of having alcohol, or drugs, she grabs a couple of redbulls and she is ready to go...
Even Montreal , for me, has a whole new "enchant" after meeting Danielle..
Living in Montreal would be so hard without you Danielle...
Last time i saw her, was on Sunday, but i miss her like crazy, already...
Ending this Post i couldnt forget to mention: Saona, the prettiest "star dog" ever...
(she gets all the attention from the public and we take advantage of it...)

DANIELLE, you have such a good heart, Merci, Merci Beaucoup, for being who you are and for being now, part of my life.

Diego, Can you Tell the Differences?

2006-08-18T01:00:00.000-06:00

Those 2 pics, where taken in 2 very different situations and locations!

one in New York, the other in Toronto.

one is a real woman, the other a drag-queen.

one was taken in 2004, the other in 2005...

But even though they are too different, they are too alike...

and so its Me and Diego. (funny is that we didnt even knew each other when those pics were taken)

Diego, is this great kid (always concerned about hooking people up, to the Best), friend of his friends, we met earlier this year, one of the reasons i decided to stay in Canada... LOL... of course... there is always something special about anyone i mention here... and so its Diego.. today is his "Birthday", he is a Leo, a Leo-Leo, argh... and so its JLo and Madonna... LOL... they are all about the Sun, the Fire, and the Ego... LOL... Hey... Diego, i think you taugh me that... now, i have to say, i dig horoscopes so much, its incredible! He is also responsable for all my fancy necklaces and bracellets and for the souleasternpop logo, for me being jealous of Lenny Kravitz and D'Angelo... (just kidding)... for me loving Shakira... LOL... uff so many things... Diego is from Colombia, he wears orange when he is happy and the weather is sunny, and green if he needs hope for a better day! he is the pure image of Tropical and Caliente (tropicaliente)! he is one of a Kind!

Feliz Cumpleanos (Cabron)... Luv ya... Keep it Real n Tight!

Soundtrack: Left & Right (feat. Method man and Redman), by: D'Angelo.

"Late Fragments" or "Gay-for-Pay"?

2006-08-17T15:52:00.000-06:00

oh yeah.. para aqueles de voces que nao estam familiarizados com o termo gay-for-pay...

gay-for-pay: e ser gay para ser pago, ou seja o caso de 80% dos strippers para homens, ou melhor apenas 20% dos homens de dancam para homens sao gays, os outros 80% sao heterosexuais, mas o fazem por dinheiro. (odeio ter de ser tao... explicito)...

nas passadas semanas eu recebi uma proposta para representar um desses casos, num filme, o filme: Late Fragments.

a historia de Theo, um rapaz de 24 anos que foi violado com apenas 9 anos por um homem, e que nunca conseguiu superar o trauma, crescendo num ambiente perturbado, de drogas, sexo e dinheiro (para alguns de maneira facil) vendendo o corpo... Theo e um jovem heterosexual (sim ele tem uma namorada, Lea), que trabalha como stripper e prostituto num club nocturno gay, Theo e completamente desligado do corpo, tanto que o vende a homens e segue o culto de "cicatrizacao" (corta-se com laminas), o puto ta todo marado da cabeca... ate que um dia o homem que o violou a 15 anos atras, aparece no Club em que ele trabalha....

Ish, ja contei quase tudo... LOL...

agora, digam-me uma coisa... o que acham devo ou nao fazer esse papel?

ate hoje ouvi varias opinioes, mas quero ouvir mais, uma vez que elas variam imenso!

eu sei que sou capaz de representar a Theo, disso nao tenho duvida, o meu unico problema e saber que as filmagens comecam dia 1 de octubro e ate la, nao sei se conseguirei ter o corpo digno de um stripper... LOL... o que nao quero e ter o pessoal a ir ao cinema e em vez de verem um gajo todo grosso tal e qual, ver-me a mim, com as minhas perninhas... e ficarem desiludidos!

Sabem que os strippers para mim sao as pessoas mais Seguras que sao Bons a face da terra! Confidence is the Key of this world!

i'm very self-conscious, i know what i can offer, and what i cannot!

quero opinioes no domingo estarei em L.A. com a producao do Filme!

Um filme bastante, visual e grafico, nudes e parte integral da natureza artistica do filme e alguma violencia! hey, nao e pornografico e quase isso... mas o director: Daryl Cloran, disse que tudo sera levado com muito respeito e gosto num ambiente de cena fechado!

O Resultado pode ser uma "Merda" ou pode ser como foi: Angelina Jolie no GIA... tal como eu ela tb tinha 23 anos quando gravou o filme e com 29 comprou o primeiro aviao! LOL...

e como o Rodolfo disse: "Voce tem mais e que botar sua cara no Mundo"

Soundtrack: Better Man, by: Martina Sorbara.

Julio Iglesias... the Press and the Show!

2006-08-17T12:26:00.000-06:00

... after he called me... and i was finally able to react... i started walking down, walking down, my "hall of fame", all the reporters turned around and suddenly i was the "Star"... flashes flashes... me waving like Queen Elizabeth (just kidding)... big smile... the moment had come:

"(Luck) hits Paulo Pascoal big time" (Luck=when preparation meets opportunity)

Julio asked his manager to leave the spot for me... saying: "vete, Paulo aqui es tu lugar cerca de mi"... on his right side!

with a very gentle hug and a kiss on my cheeck, there i was sharing the same Press as "Julio Iglesias" that was for the first time in Angola! (which means the whole world was there) LOL...

J.I.: "Paulo es un amigo mio, que es de aqui, Angola, vivio en donde yo naci, Espana, y vive en donde vivo, U.S.A"

he looks at me smiling as if he was proud of me, and gives me another kiss...

J.I.: "Paulo vino a presentar su primer trabajo (looked at me) , que tienes a decir de tu trabajo?"

ME: "no se, voy a dejar que el publico lo juzge"

J.I.: "no seas tan modesto... eres bueno o no eres bueno? dime? tu tienes de saber quien eres antes que te expongas al juicio" (and there was my biggest lesson ever)

Me: "soy bueno"

J.I.: "cantas bien, eres guapisimo, eres ambicioso, iras muy lejos chico, buena suerte"...

and with that i had my musical career launched...

So launched, that i openned Julio shows in there and after in the world... we kicked ass together! Oh yeah...

I started being the Open Act for several artists... under managenment of Howard Pollack!

and i had a Great 2 years, till i decided to STOP... (love problems)

I have to apolagize to Julio Iglesias, for believing in me, and getting disappointed for my not existent drive at the time.. i was too young!

10 days after that date, was the release of my first album, August 26th 2003, I Wish That I! My first little baby!

Soundtrack: Divorcio, by: Julio Iglesias.

Julio Iglesias and my 3rd Musical Aniversary!

2006-08-17T10:52:00.000-06:00

3 years ago, today August 17, was the day that my life changed forever... LOL... (like every other day)... is it today Madonnas Birthday? i have to call that guuurl... LOL... i wish!

aight... well, yes... i was giving an interview for a tv channel in Luanda-Angola, in the pool yard of the hotel i was staying, Hotel Tropical *****! LOL... i was having a orange juice, in a round white table and Karina Barbosa, who is my agent in there was with me!

It was a sunny day, and a couple of miles away in the pool, there was the crowd of white bodies, burnning in the sun, suddenly this man, leaves the pool and comes , talks with a woman also there, his wife, and comes straight ahead, hitting my table...

saying: "bom dia, que fazem aqui, tu quem es?"( kinda, who are you?)

i said: "hola, soy Paulo, soy un cantante local" (in my perfect Castellano accent)

he said: "ah, y como hablas tan bien espanol?"

i said: "yo vivi en espana muchos anos"

he said: "pero si todavia eres muy jovenzito, y donde vives ahora, aqui no !?"

i said: "no, vivo en NYC"

he said: "que bien, yo vivo en Miami, dame tu musica, quiero oirla"

i handed him a cd...

he said: "cantas en ingles? muy bien, que internacional"

he touched my face, holding my sheen on his palm... he smiled at me and said: "que guapo!"

he left the place, drying his hair with a white towel...

and suddenly i realized... "that was Julio Iglesias"... WOW... my father (R.I.P.) "Loved this man"...

I got excited, LOL, yeah man, Julio Iglesias, an UN embassador, 70 cds released, more than god knows how many years of a brilliant career... such an inspiration...

I went to my room, yes, to rest and listen to some Julios old songs... when my room phone rang...

Me: "hello"

J.I.: "estas dormido muchacho?"

Me: "NO"

J.I.: "yo tengo una conferencia de imprensa ahora, ven a verme si quieres"

Me: "si, ahora voy"

of course, i did, how could i not go, i bet this man has a lot to talk about and so i have to Learn.

I got ready and went running to the Conference Room...

Ish... i openned the door, trying to be as silent as i could... i sit in the first chair i had close to me... at the top end of the room, everybody was at the bottom, all attent, to what he had to say... stuff like... how is the relationship with his children, how many times has he been married, why can't people photograph him from the up right side to what he responded:

"yo tengo ya muchos anos para sabesr cual es mi lado favorito"

(he likes all photogrphers under him and only taking pics of the left side of his face, this photo for example shows everything he hates hahahahaaha)... and so when someone asked:

"Julio in all the countries you go you always pick a girl to sing with you, have you heard angolan music, who are you gonna pick from Angola to sing with you?"

to what he responded:

"Paulito, ven aqui" (Paulo, come here)

LOL... GOD!... i wasnt sure of what i heard, i stood still, my legs were paralized... my body was shaking... "is he calling me there? for real?"

Paginas do meu Diario... e o Irmaos Bedinfield!

2006-08-17T01:34:00.000-06:00

24 de Maio de 2005

Bem, Meu querido e mais confidente amigo… tenho estado bem e já se passaram anos a pensar que te devia contar coisas, já se passou tanto, mais tanto, que eu nem sei por onde comecar…
Mas vou começar pelo dia de ontem… mas antes dizer-te que já tive uma relacao de 3 anos, já lancei um cd de musica, já viajei imenso e fiz "N" de maluqueiras novas, como drogas, e ainda tou por ca, no mundo dos vivos….

23 de Maio de 2005

Neste exacto momento estou a gravar uma novela, tou em Portugal, a novela e Morangos com Acucar… uma novela para a malta jovem, as pitas, os dreads e os betos… e sobre isso tb…. LOL
Mas a verdade e que ontem o dia la no estúdio foi especial… porque veio gravar connosco uma celebridade…. Daniel Bedinfield… famoso que tem um hit worldwide known…. conhecido em todo mundo... o som… "If u are not the One"…. O mesmo que marcou o final da minha relaccao de 3 anos….
Tas a perceber???
No fim da minha relacao, este som fazia-me chorar, eu amava, porque dizia tudo que eu queria dizer e disse e dediquei o som, ao meu Amor…
Enfim o cantor veio ao estúdio gravar uma cena… foi lindo!
Mas o mais engraçado e que com mais de 30 pessoas no meio do estúdio a primeira pessoa a quem ele estendeu a mão, fui eu, e logo disse-me: "se a minha Irmã te visse saltava-te para cima…" (referindo-se a Natasha Bedinfield) LOL… é claro que eu achei super engraçado… e fiquei um pouco assustado porque afinal… a minha frente estava o rapaz que canta o som que eu mais Amei durante uns tempos… LOL…
Depois de algumas gravacoes, ele foi falar ao ouvido da assistente dele, que logo a seguir ela, a Carla, veio ter comigo, e disse: "o Daniel esta maluco contigo quer te apresentar a irmã dele e pergunta se queres ir jantar com eles dois…" eu fiquei sem ar… ela disse: "já me respondes…"
E ai tive de voltar para as gravacoes das quais já explico o que faço e quem sou na novela e tudo mais…
Enfim, aceitei o convite.
Depois das gravacoes fui ter com eles ao Hotel Pestana Palace… para a seguir levar-lhes ao Restaurante a Bica do Sapato… estes sítios são apenas os mais, mais de Lisboa… não e para toda gente… para alem de reunirem tudo o que reúne um bom hotel e um óptimo restaurante… são caríssimos…
Eu estava partido ao final do dia porque estava ainda em directa, tinha ido sair a noite anterior…

adormeci na Limo enquanto eles falavam comigo, mas mesmo assim, parece nao ter perdido o encanto, depois de uma optima jantarada, foi um optimo banho na piscina do hotel, a 3, LOL... fui o guia da estadia deles por ca, e divertimo-nos imenso! E eu e a Natasha... muito bem!

I loved the cumplicity in between them, i also read the book adviced by Daniel... "Whats so Amazing about Grace", that is now my favorite so far... its also his... this is people that come into your life to give you some light! Thanks to you Bedinfield!

After reading that page on my diary, i realized how much i've grown in only a year! Its Insane!

Soundtrack: Un-Written, by: Natasha Bedinfield.

Aprender...

2006-08-17T01:06:00.000-06:00

"... aprender, e como remar contra a corrente, se parares, voltas para atras..."

Soundtrack: ABC, by: Jackson Five.

PAULOCTIONARY.

2006-08-16T23:31:00.000-06:00

FuckTard: An individual that is Fucked Up and also a Retard.

Poitado: Um individuo que e Pobre e Coitado.

Beat my Meat: Masturbating.

Miss Angola in my House!

2006-08-16T22:25:00.000-06:00

2 years ago, i saw her win the contest... in Angola...

a trully and great representant of the ebony beauty...

long legs, dark skin, great body, amazing face features...

there was no doubt "Patricia Silvestre" should own the tittle of Miss Angola... today, she is here in my house, with her beautifull and adorable daughter Luisa.

Luisa is definetly a good candidate for the "Thrown" in the future.

Now... why is she here? she used to be a Canadian resident, but now she is being deported... she has less than 48 hours to abandone the country otherwise she is going to jail!

isnt that crazy? dont ask me why... i cant explain... but as my father is responsable for Angolans here, she is here to receive our support, safe of the bad guys, till she leaves to Angola.

I hope everything goes well for you there Patricia, i know its not gonna be easy, but then you will get used to it. Like everything in life takes time!

Foste uma optima anfitria... as for Luisa... i cant wait to see you become a woman and replace your Mom, representing the Angola beauty in the Universe.

Soundtrack: Get Up, by: Amel Larrieux.

Mariah Carey, exposed in Montreal!

2006-08-16T16:17:00.000-06:00

Mariah Carey was in Montreal yesterday... i couldnt go, had to work in O-Town! But Jason was there and those are his words:

Jay --> MONTREAL!!! says:
omg paulo it was the best thing i have ever seen...
her voice is like nothing i've ever heard... effortless...
and she looked stunning...
i have a whole new love for her...
she was so funny!
and she almost had a wardrobe malfunction... it was hilarious!
she was like: "its a live show darlings and the girls didn't want to stay where they're supposed to"

..:: Soul3asternPop ::.. says:
her boobs?

Jay --> MONTREAL!!! says:
haha ya...
one almost popped out...
b/c she was performing on like a stage in the middle of the crowd for a bit and all of a sudden she started walking fast to the main stage with her body guards and she still kept singing even tho you couldn't hear her...
then she came back out singing and was yelling: " stop the music".
so then she explained what happened and asked everyone if we wanted her to do the song again and everyone started screaming and cheering so she did
it was so good paulo...

I have to say that once me and Jason got into this argument about Kelly Clarkson being better than Mariah... LOL... Jason i'm so happy you got to see the show, so you will never say such non sense ever... Mariah its like the voice of the 90's... and next time call me ealier... 1.

as for:
Aretha Franklyn 60's
Donna Summer 70's
Whitney Houston 80's
Mariah Carey 90's
and for this decade Mary J. Blige is the one...

those are not my Statistics... they are Billboard ones!

who you think its gonna be next? Beyonce or Alicia Keys? Kelly Clarkson maybe? LOL...

O(liver)bsession Part 2... the Saddest Good-Bye!

2006-08-16T14:58:00.000-06:00

they were 10 days, only 10 days...

i had so much fun, i barely went home during that time... i wanted to stay in Montreal forever!

The day of his departure...

i went out the whole night, just so i wouldnt think about it...

but after i left the Stereo bar at 12pm (noon) i still passed by his "Loft"(now my Loft) to say good-bye...

where he showed up using the phone, with his huge great smile, shirtless, i was with Yerko, and he fed us with oreos and orange juice... we chat for a while...

i had said good-bye the night before too...

after just so i wouldnt think about it...

i decided to put myself in road going back to Ottawa...

i was an hour away from Montreal, thats half of the way... when Danielle called me...

asking: "so Paulo are you gonna take Oliver to the airport?"...

LOL... i had no other reaction but turning the car around, going back to Montreal!

i called him, warning him to not take a cab... he said: "quarter to 5pm the latest".

i was in time... at the airport... he was running a lil late we thought... i played saying that he was going to lose to plane... he didnt enjoy it at all...

going to the check in... there was a big line... so we stand... we held... we held like we dont know when to see each other again...

... around there was.. everybody... kids, old couples, employees of the airports, passangers...

and i can remenber seeing in the face of that old lady some like: "wow thats so sweet"...

let me tell you folks, i am mister good-bye, i am always saying good-bye to everyone... but this time i wasnt, and i dont know... but it hurt me as hell... i went in and out of the airport 3-4 times... of course i didnt tear or anything like that...

but when i got to the car where Danielle also was... OMG...

we just instantly started pouring, like waterfalls, like two babies with no candy...

it was SAD!

that day we wore sun glasses till 11pm...

Me and Rodolfo decided instead of having a pitcher of Long Island, have a pitcher of beer... LOL... we both got drunk!

Oh WOW... *Oliver**Oliver*... what a Great Friend we made!

to visit Olivers blog, click above the tittle! Enjoy the Trip, get a Dictionary too!

O(liver)bsession Part 1... Oliver-Mania!

2006-08-16T13:28:00.000-06:00

i met *Oliver* the night he got to Montreal, it was a thursday...

i went out to the terrace of the Parking Club and there he was... standing!

(just now while writting this he left me a comment for the Enneagram)

Is it some kind of connection, telepathy? i'm freaking out!

... standing!

(i cant do this)

Its too intense... i feel chills up and down my spine!

Rapaz eu nao consigo encontrar palavras para descrever a admiracao que por ti tenho, ou pelo contrario encontro muitas que nao sao as mais adequadas, podria escrever milhares de Hiperboles, es muito especial para mim, e tu sabes!

I admire *Oliver* so much, that at 29 like he is now, i wanna be like him: WISE!

i know i didnt have the chance to really know him, only 10 days, but i could feel his positive energy, his wit, everything always very well put together...

when we would go out for dinner or just for a coffee or a Long Island, people would stay around us, but it only took each and everyone of them 2 sec to Fall in Love with *Oliver*...

He would say: "people here is so nice..." with his huge great smile.

I would say: "yes" but now i say: "no darling, you are damn good (uh hum) " (with my bronx accent, my arm lift, my finger almost touching his face and my neck moving Whitney style)

*Oliver* speaks like... every language, yeah thats right, not to mention that he is beautifull anywhere in the world, with two ears pierced! hahahaha... (details)

If you have any doubts you can ask Danielle... me and Danielle are like *Oliver* promoters...

everywhere we go up till now, i think its already been a month since he left back to Switzerland... we talk about him everyday and when we go out, our Standart is so HIGH, that we can never meet anyone cuz we want someone that looks like *Oliver*.

we also believe that there is no other man that can wear a pink t-shirt like *Oliver*.

Every afternoon we wait around 5-6pm to see if he is online... i know its crazy!

I'm affraid to say it might be an Obsession... but no need to harm... you would be the same way if you knew him!

*Oliver* is also the one that inspired me to have this blog, and the main reason for it just so i could write down how amazing of a person he is, after i read his blog, but i got lost on the way...

I think all of you already heard about him, being with me, hahahahahah, i almost had a Cat Fight with one of you cuz of him too... LOL...

*Oliver* is like the "Perfect KEN" (yeah the Barbie husband)

But uhm, i could go for days... i have to thank his parents for putting him in this world, one day i might go there and say it in person! U have a great son!

*Oliver* a Big Kiss to Your Sister.

LOL... i write this Blog not only for me, but for both of us: Me and Danielle!

Your Biggest Fans in the Whole Entire World!

(he just signed in... you see... i love this) LOL... i feel good with my Oliver-Mania)

Soundtrack: Suelta Mi Mano, by: Sin Banderas. One day we will perform this song together... he also loves to sing... and has a great ear... he is actually a good singer!

The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test!

2006-08-16T10:52:00.000-06:00

I just took a lil of my time to do a Enneagram test, i discovered that i'm type Six (6)
"i'm affectionate and skeptical"
and those are the tips of how to get along with me:

Be direct and clear.
Listen to me carefully.
Don't judge me for my anxiety.
Work things through with me.
Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
Laugh and make jokes with me.
Gently push me toward new experiences.
Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

As now you know... be aware... and if you want to make the test... let me know what type are you!
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=6711512663497470889

SEX TOYS AND MY MUSIC!

2006-08-16T08:01:00.000-06:00

Lots of you have received a link i've sent with my music... a cd single that was released in Portugal in a magazine called Gente Jovem... and lots of you have noticed that it is a link for a Sex Shop! LOL... True... but dont get alarmed, cuz the Sex Shop belongs to my friend: Felix Romanik, who after i told him that i would post a blog with his name said: "mas olha... so quero malandrices... nada de elogios"... LOL thats right... Felix is a Naghty Boy, who moved to Greece to be with his Love! and so now, the Sex Shop is actually not existent anymore... but... the Link for my Music is still there! So enjoy it... and Felix, Thanks Man... I'll visit you soon in Athens!

http://carpenoctem-eu.com/Paulo%20Pascoal/

P.S.: MI-SU (www.mi-su.com). It created "a luxurious product range which is a fusion of jewellery and sex toys". The Toys, including "rings", dildos, and plugs, are made of "solid titanium, rose quartz and obsidian, adorned with diamonds, sapphires and other precious and semi precious stones". Sometimes a pain in the ass and for sure a pain in your credit card. As said by http://www.helllookslikeheaven.blogspot.com/

Dear Miss Swan... from Kuvaria!

2006-08-15T19:47:00.000-06:00

i didnt know that someone could make me laugh that bad...

not like everytime i see you...

i can be in the park, coffee shop or in my bed...

anywhere i require you...

either i'm happy or sad...

i just wanna see you...

Miss Swan like i "didnt say it before"

"Thanks to you" now "I look like a man" and i'll "tell you everything"...

i love your hair, your smile, your shoes, your dance moves, i love your voice...

I love You

and if i could change the alphabet i would put:

"U and I closer together".

this was the first Miss Swan show i've seen:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=O3X8_2JQ5BU&search=miss%20swan%20mad%20tv

but you have to check her best of:

www.youtube.com

and Please look for her: Miss Swan.

ok, you go.

Lavalife UK...

2006-08-15T16:52:00.000-06:00

do you believe in hot-lines? those phone lines that you call to find the "perfect match"...

would you believe it more, if you saw me making one of those comercials?

in fact, even though seems a little funny yes... i did a Lavalife Comercial... kinda saying:

"... if you wanna meet guys hot like me... call... 1-800-lavalife..."

after me and Samy had to travel at 3am, leaving Ottawa to Toronto, to be there at 7am for the job... we finally got to the place, on King st. Samy had to go shoot right away, he was even a bit late... but me... or no... i had two hours to sleep in the car before shooting... and of course, how could i not sleep if i was awaken since 3am?

2 hours later... 9am... time to wake up to go shoot, i couldnt believe my life, the sun had been bothering me ever since i arrived! i was un-rested! Still i had to get inside of the set...

make up, wardrobe, a lot of chatting with the other peeps... very interesting people!

There was the time to shoot... but a lil before, i heard i would have to kiss someone, i had no ideia, but i didnt mind much about the kissing, its only normal, if we are trying to make the audience believe that it was through lavalife that we found Love! LOL...

So i took a look around trying to figure out who i was suppose to be kissing... i saw... a lot of girls i would kiss...except one: Paradise.

And i dont know if "God" or whoever read my thoughts: "give me anyone but that girl", that Paradise was the girl i had to kiss... haaaa... i just wanted to kiss someone... uhm.. you know... "Kissable"... dont get me wrong she is adorable, just not my type...

(o feitico virou-se contra o feiticeiro, optima licao de vida)

Ok... Paradise: "i do love you gurrrl"...

You can see Lavalife on T.V. in Canada and UK... i never saw it... if you can, recorded it for me.. Plizzz....

Soundtrack: Call Me, by: Tweet.

http://lavalife.com/

Annie Savoie... the Openning with Half of a Shirt!

2006-08-15T15:14:00.000-06:00

Semana da Moda, oh yeah, tudo que e modelo fica com o cu aos saltos! Sim, isso mesmo!
Fazer a semana da moda, seja ela em Lisboa, Paris, Milao, NY, Sao Paulo, Istambul ou mesmo em Toronto, e dar a cara ao mercado de alta costura, a seguir, esperamos os catalogos, os editoriais etc etc... as grandes campanhas de 1st linha.
Esta foi a minha primeira semana da moda no Canada... e tive de abrir o show com apenas metade de uma camisa... sim metade! Eu sei que moda e isso mesmo, ao contrario de Tom Ford, ou Karl Lagerfeld nem todo o estilista que alcanca o rubro usa um corte classico, as vezes, e preciso ser mais arriscao escentrico, como o Lacroix ou o Galiano, e como eles, e a estilista da autentica camisa metade, Annie Savoie.
Num mercado de gente, no minino atraente, depois de cada show uma grande borga, muito alcool, muito sexo, drogas e rock n roll... e assim foi a mais uma Semana da Moda!
Merci Annie, je t'aime!

Soundtrack: SuperModel, by: Ru Paul.

Richard Robinson... the Stylest of the "Queens"...

2006-08-15T13:53:00.000-06:00

R.R. is known for his hats and couture outfits for the Queens and Princesses, incluiding The UK Elizabeth! Fact!
He lives in Ottawa, and owns a Designer Academy, for people with the same pasion that wanna improve the skills, or just study them as well!
Every year he makes a show, a fashion show, to show what the "pupils" have learned during the year and he hires, top-models, like: Me?!... or Naomi Campbell? LOL...
He is also known by "the designer of the Peace dress", a dress made of over a 100 lil flags from all the nations and that travels the world, for funds and signatures of each nation governer! Interesting isn't it?
At the end of each show, they choose the Best designer, followed by the Best New Model... and you wonder who he/she was?... LOL...
I hope that the fact that i wore his clothes dont make me a Princess, or even a Queen!
Thanks Robinsons... next year i'll be with you again!

http://richardrobinson.com/

Soundtrack: Free as a Bird, by John Lennon

The Movie "HouseSitter" and my "Spelling" Problem!

2006-08-15T12:56:00.000-06:00

T-o-r-i S-p-e-l-l-i-n-g, this that right? i guess... yeah... we know her face... from the Beverly Hills 90210 sitcom... also from the boob jobs, nose jobs, blow jobs... no no... sorry i'm just kidding!

Tori, i got the chance to work with this lady in her new movie, HouseSitter, and even tho they were some divergences... i just wanna say:

"sorry, for judging you, without actually knowing you!"...

I think... u did a Great Job!

I also wanna send a HOLLA to Jameson, also actor in the Movie, we still have to go party sometime in Montreal soon!

http://www.tori-spelling.com/

Soundtrack: What?, by: Paulo Pascoal

I Missed being Killed by Robert Englund!

2006-08-15T03:43:00.000-06:00

Its True! Who doesnt know this face?
Lots of Us incluinding me dont know his real name, Robert Englund, we know him by: Freddy, Freddy Krueger!
But Robert is the leading actor of a number of horror movies...
Not long ago i got an email of my Agent, Angie, saying: You got Booked!
Booked to be killed by a Legend, i loved it, and i got excited about it, no doubt... the Movie is called Monster Slayer, its being filmed in Ottawa, the email also said that the date for it was Sept. 10-11. So i couldnt wait for the date... But... but... but... there was a mistake...
August 10... around 11pm i got a call, a call from the production of the movie... runned by the company A.C.T., Stephanie called: "Paulo? what happenned to you? i just realized you are not on set... where are you?"
I was Home, about to go to bed, to wake up in the morning to go work in another movie in the morning...
Stephanie: "but you were suppose to be here, didnt your agent tell you? didnt the production call you this morning?"
i said: "nobody called me, i did got an email from my agent and she said it was September"
Stephanie: "this is wrong, i have to call her, what are we gonna do, cant you make it?
I said: "Stephanie i'm going to bed, and i'm 6 hours away from where you are, and there is no planes i can catch now..."
She wasnt happy at all, neither was i, i just had missed being killed by a Legend!
SHIT SHIT SHIT, 3 times SHIT!
Why on Earth, this SHIT happens to Me?

Lebanon Memories!

2006-08-15T01:45:00.000-06:00

About 5 years ago, i was in NYC... it was a few weeks after new years eve...
i used to go to dance classes at NY sports club, with Sheryl Murakami... great coreographer!Through her i met Hass (for Hassan), he is from Lebanon... i couldnt say we bonded right away, but there was something in the air, lets say... couple of weeks later... we decided to go have a coffee together... a bird had shit on my head (literaly), i thought: "today is not my lucky day or maybe, i'll get lucky".. who knows... some people says that when that happens is cuz you are about to make or get money... and so i believe! We met up, Hass gave me a "golden chocolate godiva box"... and then surprised... i heard: "happy valentines day"... oh wow... i had no ideia, all i could think was... "how am i gonna get him a gift now, and what..."
skip the drama... it was late to do anything, anyways, my fault, i never know which day of the month i am in the year...
we spent a whole afternoon together, walking on time square, and then it was time for him to go... and so we took the train... the 9 going downtown to franklin street... where his home was... or not! on the way we talked about music, mainly about Madonna... Hass is big fan of Madonna.. and so i learned from him... its true... he intruced me to Madonna in a way i could never expect!
Days, Weeks, Months passed by, our friendship was above all... there are so many things i could say i learned with Hass, its amazing, but mostly: Music. His Pasion for his music was one of the things i was amazed about, his drive, his dedication to it... Hass was 25yo, i was 18yo, even tho i used to lie about my age at the time, i wanted to be older! My music is his music, his music is my music, with a lot of middle eastern influence, sounds of rhythm and blues, soul vocals... thats what SoulEasternPop is... Soul: Vocals; Middle Eastern: Influence; Pop(ular): Music.
I dont know if there is ever gonna be another person that had so much influence in me, and in my life like he did, a person that made his taste my taste, his dreams my dreams... Yes! that was Hass, from Lebanon.
Even tho, now, we grew apart, after i left NYC i went to Lebanon, cuz i wanted to know, and visit the place he was so affraid of going back to... i visited Beirut, Sidon, Tripoli, mostly the cities on the coast of the Mediterranean sea... i fell in love with the culture, with the food, mostly with the music... i brought back lots of Gold, in material and spiritual wealth.
Today, there is what they call: "Never Ending War"... absurd even to write about it... But i think of the people i've met, of the faces and places i've seen... it causes me pain... fear... of this malific reality!

Hass is the one that most influence had in my Life, and so i suffer for him and for his people, i suffer for me... lets all if it would only make us feel a lil better... go to the streets and manifest our Will, and hope we can be heard by the ones that are causing this War! Everything in Life has an End... Life Ends... how could a War not End?!.

This picture i took in Toronto, where Thousands of US, joined for the Great Cause! Aug.12th.

Soundtrack: 50=50, by: Hass and Paulo Pascoal!

JLo Loves Me!

2006-08-15T01:14:00.000-06:00

"...if u had my love and i gave u all my trust would you confort me... tell me baby! and if some how you knew that your love for me is would be untrue, would you lie to me....tell me baby!..."

Well if u havent figured out just yet its Jennifer lopez... It all started on a summer day when i was 12 years old in front of my t.v. in toronto sitting on a very confy couch. As i was flicking through the channel...
I come a cross this music video, and a very petty woman was singing! As she was turning around, a huge shadow covered the sunlight that was coming in through my windows....and there it was... her ass!
...That day was the day that i learned what masturbation was. I tell you, it was a memorable experience!

By: Yerko.
Soundtrack: If U Had My Love, by Jennifer Lopez!

... how good it feels being injected?...

2006-08-15T00:31:00.000-06:00

... i love the adrenaline that runs through my body veins while the nurse puts the liquid in the syringe...

and when it goes in?

... ufff...

what a rush!

... i would love if the nurse could just move it a lil bit so i could feel it more...

...OMG...

and when it comes out?

... i end with the feeling of: I WANT IT MORE!

by: Yerko, said about going to get an injection of antibiotic for a tooth infection.

So much Pasion you would be Amazed!

Soundtrack: Dont Stop, by: Paulo Pascoal

D.R.U.G.S.

2006-08-14T23:46:00.000-06:00

Drive to do what you are not able to, sobber...

Repeatdly use of "stuff" that will only make you feel more miserable after is over...

Un-usual way of making friends you think will always be there, but they dont...

Great way of losing weight...

Search for a permanent state of "Broke"-ness...

... now if you wanna keep on doing them... its your problem! You, Drug-Addicted!

By: Paulo Pascoal

Soundtrack: No More Conversation, by: Freeform Five (Mylo Remix)

DJ Yerko and the Velvet...

2006-08-14T22:16:00.000-06:00

... even though the tittle is not official... the 19 year old, Yerko, will come out as a Great DJ in no time! How can i be so sure? I can feel it... sucessfull energy has been now for a while my thing!
When i met Yerko, i could sense in him, youth, pureness, he was shy but not affraid to look in the eye.
Now that its been a while we've been sharing experiences, Yerko a "self-taught disco music producer on the way", showed me: Velvet. A song he has been working not more than 48 hours, and that is obviously a HIT. With a sound influenced by Dj Tiesto (that has just been in Niagara Falls yesterday), Velvet is something like: "Magniamazinfantastictrageous"... can you say the word, try, thats how good the sound is. I know he is gonna probably kill me, after me exposing the pic, he says he hates... but.. uhm... "Yerko, yo tube que compartir esto, porque lo que senti con el sonido que hiciste, no siento todos los dias"... keep up the good work, you will only get better and better...
Now... other thing, i have to say, is: "when you are special, you are special, you are up above normal, you stand out in the crowd"... you are even being so young a warm and prophoune soul that has been "inside of my body"...
Hey... we are talking about Meditation here ok? dont misunderstand peeps...
Aight...

This is my Post for you Yerko... hope you feel better (he just took two wisdom tooth out)...
It's always a pleasure to meet people with the Drive that you have, it's refreshing!

Sountrack: Velvet, by DJ Yerko (keep the name) and for that one you will have to wait a bit!

Why is my Smile becoming so Green?

2006-08-14T21:17:00.001-06:00

... dear teeth, dear teeth...
why is my smile becoming so green?
... dear teeth, dear teeth...
i wash you everyday
everytime i eat i can say
... dear teeth, dear teeth...
i wash you before a casting
everytime i go out partying
... dear teeth, dear teeth...
is that you dont enjoy the nicotine?
my smile was white when i was a teen!
... dear teeth, dear teeth...
why is my smile becoming so green?

BY: PAULO PASCOAL

Soundtrack: Beautifull, by Christina Aguilera

Child-Less Mother... (the empty baby carriege)

2006-08-14T19:27:00.000-06:00

Wasnt i at the station to take the bus back to Ottawa to live this...
4.20pm i got to the station, straight to the line to get my bus ticket to go home...
4.40pm i got the ticket... i decided to go for a smoke... and as i cant smoke in, anywhere in north-america, i had to leave the station... at the door there was this middle eastern family... a woman with a baby in her lap, 3-4 months old, a girl holding her legs, 2-3 years old (she smiled at me), and a man, smoking, i suppose the father of the children, and a baby car...
i lighten my cigarrette, and got distracted with two hot women that were standing by me... i sit in my bag and noticed that the family wasnt there anymore... but the baby car had been left by my side...
I stood up to see if i could find them, when... the woman suddenly opens the door, so abruptly that it almost hits my face... she had a terrorized face, she looked scared... she said a couple of words, i wasnt able to understand... and then she went in again, running...
I thought: "is she missing her daughter?".
She came back out, shouting, screaming... the name i cannot reproduze... shouting, screaming so loud i couldnt help but think for short seconds: " she would be a great vocalist..."
The father also shows up and starts screaming at her... he was dead scared and uspet.
She goes down on her knees., with the baby on her lap, hitting his little head against the concrete ground... the bus station was suddenly awaken... a little girl was missing!
She yelled with the highest note her diafragme could soustain, and with all the air and strengh of her lungs...
"MY CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD"
"MY CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD"
My whole body skin felt like little Evarest Mountains, i had this enormous chill up my spine... tears came into my eyes to see the suffering in the voice and face of that woman...
People all over... people trying to help... some wondering out loud: "is this for real or is this an act, was her daughter kidnapped, or is it a terrorist attack programe?" (i heard)... this tall black dread locked man with glasses came to me: "have you seen her daugther, was she here, was she taking by anyone"... i said: "they were just here but they went in... "
Cops, people, the hot women, the man holding her babies head so it wouldnt hit the ground...
Terror... we couldnt believe what was happenning... till... i see the father in the other side of the glassed door, coming with the girl in his lap, i go over the woman still shouting and i say:
"Look she is there.."
The father drop the girl, she run to her mom, the woman kisses her non-stop, the father smiles, the baby had no ideia of what was happenning... LOL... they all give this huge hug and walk to a corner.
They left the baby car behind... i took a pic... and then took it over to them.
5.07pm... shit, my bus? it was a five... i run to the gate 13... there was still people waitting in the line, but already boarding... ufff... thank god... but, suddenly the line stops, no more space in the bus...
a tall blond blue eyed girl in front of me, asked: "do you have any ideia of whats happenning?"
i said: "there is no more space in the bus"
she said: "are you kidding me, i have to take that bus, i paid to take the bus at 5pm not at 6pm"
i said: "your right"
Then the Bus-Driver said: "we only have 5 more spots free"
I counted i was exactly number:5, i waitted till the other 4 boarded, the driver went inside, came out and said: "there is only one more spot, its the last row, close to the washroom, do you want take that? normally i wouldnt..."
i said: "i have to take this bus, i dont care.."
he said: "ok"
i checked my bag, got in... ish... last row... the middle spot... in between two huge black male... i sit... my hangs on my lap holding my laptop bag, closed my eyes... and enjoyed the trip.

After a while travelling... i woke up, and i had my head on the shoulder of the man on my left side, he didnt look very happy, i felt so embaressed, i couldnt stop apolagizing.... SHIT

7.30pm Ottawa Station... my dad waitting for me... he made me an Update...
7.45pm home sweet home.
10.31pm Wasnt i home to share this with yall... LOL

Today my nephew had to take a couple of control shots, so he is not in the mood!

Sountrack: Review My Kisses, by Ari Gold.

Contracto HairSpray...

2006-08-13T19:02:00.000-06:00

nao faz muito tempo...
fui ver hairspray na broadway...
bonito show...
nao me impressionou...
talvez por ser baseado nos anos 60...
os meus anos favoritos sao os 80...
nao faz muito tempo...
mas e um classico da broadway... mais, para alguns The Best Musical da broadway!

abertos os castings para filme, a estrear em maio do ano que vem (2007)...
o primeiro filme dirigido por John Waters tal como este saiu em (1987)... o elenco contou com: Ricki Lake e Sonny Bono. Para o segundo actores ja contratados estao: John Travolta e Queen Latifah.
fui a primeira audicao... DANCA...
o coreografo la posto, bastantes trajes aos anos 60, mais de 100 bailarinos, entre eles muitas travecas, chegou a hora de mostrar o quando valho...
dancei, dancei, dancei muito... passei...
fui a segunda audicao... CANTO...
"welcome to the 60's"... era a cancao escolhida... tipico da broadway, notas altas e seguras...
ensaiei, ensaiei, ensaiei muito... cantei... passei...
fui a terceira audicao... REPRESENTACAO...
ja eu tinha um personagem escolhido pela producao, Seaweed, no filme... filho de Queen Latifah.
Tudo a postos, parece que o papel e meu...

Sera?...

Soundtrack: Welcome to the 60's, by: Hairspray Cast.

Angies Showcase 2006... Numero 170...

2006-08-13T16:12:00.000-06:00

Todos os anos, a minha agencia organiza um showcase... um evento em que sao apresentados alguns senao todos os modelos e actores que dela fazem parte.

Este ano foi o meu primeiro, uma vez que so faco parte da Angies Talent desde Marco do decorrente ano.

No show, clientes e agentes de todo mundo, veem a Ottawa, a procura da nova cara, do novo talento, da nova top model, para apostar numa carreira internacional.

Nao quer dizer que assim seja... ha gente que faz o showcase todos os anos e nunca saiu de Ottawa... como ha aqueles que fazem uma vez e tornam-se caras mundialmente famosas...

O meu caso nao e nem um nem outro... tb nao sei qual e... ou melhor ainda estou para descobrir...

Na agencia, ha alvoroso, toda gente fica ansiosa em saber quem sera levado para o Japao, ou para Italia, quem vai fazer o catalago na America Latina, quem vai estreiar num filme da MGM, visto que o Paul Webber (director MGM) e um cliente assidio dos showcases...

O meu numero era o 170.. lol... e para ser sincero, nunca esperei tal reacao do publico quando me viu entrar e tirar o casaco... gritos e aplausos... e como disse a Angie: "you were born for the stage...." e como disse o Jeff: " we all loved you..."

Cada modelo, passa tres outfits, um casual, um mais elaborado (fashion) e depois fato-de-banho...

Os clientes e agentes tem uma folha a frente deles em que apontam o numero de quem vao querer trabalhar... sera? 170? LOL...

O dia acaba com um cocktail, e uma festa privada... no Social, um bar local.

No dia seguinte e dia de calls back... demanha, estam os clientes com os numeros da mao e vao chamando o/a Lucky Bastard, que vao querer levar daqui para fora...

170, 170, 170, 170, 170, 170...

Folio, Japao, Paul Webber, Giant Tiger, etc etc... todos a chamarem por mim...

E eu?... eu estava em casa a dormir, porque apanhei uma bebedeira tao grande que era-me impossivel estar em pe e no hotel as 9am...

Apareci as 12pm... meio-dia... oculos escuros, roupa toda preta como fui recomendado, estava um calor insuportavel, nao sabia bem se ia ao meu enterro ou se era so ressaca... parecia ter febre... havia raparigas a andar de bikini (preto) pela sala da conferencia, muito brancas, LOL... pareciam fantasmas...

O meu Booker, Lou, vem ter comigo e diz: "nao me digas que adormeceste?"...

eu inventei uma desculpa para nao dizer que nao me apetecia ter ido mas cedo!

ao que ele responde: "todos chamaram por ti, muitos sairam daqui direito para o aeroporto, era bom que tivessem falado contigo, e como nao... vamos ver o proximo ano"...

Cada um tem aquilo que merece!

LOL... quem vai ao mar perde o lugar... e quem fica a dormir leva tempo a evoluir... LOL..

Soundtrack: Cover Girl, by: Brooke Valentine.

Para ver os meus companheiros e quem sabe contratar-los: http://www.dfoto.ca/angies/

GAY PRIDE... and the Aqua-Marine Party...

2006-08-13T14:19:00.000-06:00

how many of us.. can say i'm gay and proud?

or is it, that we just love big parties with lots of crowd...

maybe we just enjoy a sunny day on the beach and the sky free of a rainny cloud...

men and women, hot bodies all around...

great music, dance, techno, house, we can make move the ground...

it feels good, so good, but can we take the vow?

can you say... i'm gay and proud?

(by: Paulo Pascoal)

Soundtrack: I will Survive, by Gloria Gaynor

Flight AC 449... to Toronto!

2006-08-13T01:16:00.000-06:00

6am... friday... the alarm buzz... whatta hell? why so early?
its the begginning of the day that might change my life forever... or not!
i stand up... wash my face, and get my first cigarrette of the day...
6.30am my alarm buzz again... whatta hell? why so early?
i had 4 more hours to go, i couldnt fall asleep anymore, i couldnt think of what to do to kill my anxiety... or not!
7am... again the buzz, i'm starting to hate the sound... whatta hell? why so early?
turn on the computer, play my music for the day, deja vu, talk with my friends on the other side of the ocean...
suddenly 8am, wow... time to get ready and rush out to get the bus to Toronto... or not!
9am... i am ready... went up to my parents room... knock knock, "come in"... my dad doing the bed... my mom doing her make up... i have to go, no wait we go with you...
wait wait wait wait...
9.30am time to catch the bus, but, i wasnt there, i was dropping my dad at the embassy... my mom says: "you lost your bus? oh sorry i thought it was at 10am".
i really had to be in Toronto by 3pm... but there is no way i could be there if not taking the bus at 9.30, that i had just lost... my car is in the mechanic... oh shit... suddenly i felt lost, i need to be professional...
(plimmm)
lets take a plane... or not?
and there we were, on the way to the aeroport...
10.30am... next flight 11am... not much time, so straight to the check in... 400$ later...
Check-in guy: "wanna check your bag?"
Me: " no, i rather take it with me"
Check-in guy: "ok, gate 16, boarding at 11am, you have to go there now..."
Me: "Thank you..."
At the gate 16:
Security: Sir, you have two scissors in your bag, and a lot of liquids (perfume, face creams, tooth paste...)... i give you two options either you throw it all out, or you will have to check the bag in.
Me: WHAT? (my perfume and my creams in the garbage? he might be insane!).
i had to go back to the balcany and check my bag in...
and so after an hour there i was in Toronto... but my bag wasnt... why? late check-in!... and i had to wait 2 hours more till i got it... good thing this time, i had time... or not!
3.00pm i had a rehearsal with casting director Jeff... so he could tell me goods and bads of my acting...
4.15pm i had a meeting with the production of the movie "late fragments"... the movie that could change it all, but i dont dare to try... not yet... i am not ready!
5pm... i met up with music producer "Dove", we met up casually, and decided to go for a coffee, or me some beer, its friday, i needed to get it going sooner... LOL... just cuz i was in Toronto.
after 2 hours of talking about music and life... about Dove's trip to India and the Festivals that will happen soon... it was time to split... (Dove i definetly think you should move to Germany, its going to do you well...1. you are Fierce!)
7.30... another ocasional meeting, this time with "Simon", one of my favorites ford models on earth... he was supppose to play me on my video, but it never happenned, we were chatting for a long time... until i said i'd let him go on his roll-blades... or not!
10.00pm Lube Bar... a apple martini... a cigarrette... 3 brazilians, again, it might be my lucky charm... Bruno, Arrainha and Ivan... all 18 years old... they said: "we stand in the corner here, then in the corner there... and thats our night! us we cant get in..." LOL...
11.oopm Tango night club... some drag show... 3 smirnoff ice...
12:midnight... Diego shows up... a pitcher of beer... hip-hop steps... time to move...
3am Fly night club some special party... a lot of 80's music... a red-bull...
6am... 24 hours later... time to go to bed... whatta hell? why so early?

Soundtrack: Tainted Love, by Marilyn Manson...

...do you think love will happen?

2006-08-10T21:25:00.000-06:00

" ... love is a matter of convinience and we find it in whoever we see potencial for it..."

by: Paulo Pascoal

Thrill of The Kill, where i dance to Kill!

2006-08-10T20:34:00.000-06:00

Recebi uma chamada... da minha agente Angie... tinha uma audicao para fazer, para um filme... mas eu estava de partida para NYC... ela disse que ja voltava a ligar a dizer o que se passava... pouco tempo depois liga-me e diz: "eles querem te ver, vem ca a agencia e a gente faz-te a audicao".

eram 10 da manha, e la fui eu a agencia... quando cheguei o meu agente Lou, uma vez que eles sao um casal, disse-me: "estas preparado para dancar?" ao que eu respondi: "claro, tens musica?".

Ele disse que tinha musica, mas que eu precisava de musica sexy porque iria seduzir a uma mulher no filme, antes de ela ser assassinada... LOL... eu engoli em seco, mas fui buscar um cd ao meu carro. Subi a sala, em frente a camera, Slide, Action... e la eu dancava sexy para a camera que atras dela estava o meu agente a filmar!. Que situacao mais constrangedora!

Acabamos a gravacao, apenas um take, vimos.. e tal... fixe, parecia o Michael Jackson.. Perfeito!

E assim foi a cassete no Correio para Los Angeles. 2 dias depois estava eu em Toronto, recebo o telefonema a dizer que tinha conseguido o papel.

Quinta-feira 1 de Junho, chego ao local da producao depois de duas horas de viajem com o meu irmao mais novo, JP, dirigi-me ao local onde vi mais gente, e o homem da porta disse-me: "Figurante?"... eu fiquei meio pasmo com a pergunta... ao que ele diz:" teras de esperar porque ainda nao e a tua hora". Hahahahahaha... pensei: Tou Fodido!

Mas nao parei por la, andei em direccao aos Trailer e de repente vejo a MC, a rapariga com que fiz a prova de imagem, ela grita: PAULO!... uff senti-me mais aliviado, senti-me em casa.

Ela diz-me: "queres vir tomar o pequeno almoco, ou queres ir para o teu Trailer? LOL... Trailer?

pensei eu. WOW... acomodei-me e depois fui comer...

Horas depois tinhamos o ensaio com o director: Richard Roy. E conheci a actrizes com que iria contracenar: Melanie Venne e Barbara Basia Jasinski.

A hora da Cena ser gravada, ja estavamos todos hiper descontraidos e familiarizados.

O dia correu bem... para mais detalhes, so mesmo quando o filme sair.

"Thrill of The Kill" uma novel de Francine Langlois... sobre uma rapariga que esta a ler um livro em que ve retratada a morte da irma, e procura o author em busca do assassino...

No final da cena... Francine veio a mim e disse: "boy you give me the creeps"... esperando que tenha sido um elogio, Thanks Francine!

Soundtrack: Hung Up, by Madonna!

P.S.: ouvi tanto nesse dia que ja nao posso com a musica.. curioso, gravamos a cena no Le Parking Club... 80 figurantes, muito fumo, muito calor, mas foi a descoberta do sitio em que hoje sou cliente assiduo, e na altura nem conhecia Montreal.

http://www.angiesmodels.com/news.htm

Um Super Hero da Disney!

2006-08-10T18:34:00.000-06:00

... a vida pega-nos tantas partidas, adias, estava eu no cinema, na estreia do X-MEN... e pensei para mim.. adoraria ser um super hero... hahahahahah... be aware of what you wish for... a minha agente Angie, arranjou-me uma audicao para ser um Power Ranger.

E nao e que consegui o papel, e ja estou a gravar... assim sao as coincidencias da vida...

Hoje em dia e no futuro poderei dizer que sou um Heroe da Disney...

Como o critico Ray Derousse disse: "a portuguese guy playing a american version of a chinese super hero ... Bizarre".

Mas e a isso que eu chamo: GLOBALIZACAO!

Quanto ao meu personagem: DAX, 18, movie buff, Johnny Knoxville type and the best stuntman in show business. His physical attributes as a "fall guy" are used anytime the team needs someone to put it all on the line. His wish is to finally be recognized as a star, instead of always stopping aside for the "hero shot".

E a minha frase favorita ate hoje foi: "anonymous? i've been thrown out of airplanes, run over by buses, shot thirty seven times and drug behind a speeding train all while covering my face so the "star" of the movie can be in the spotlight. I'm Captain anonymous. I wish just once i could be the star".

O Dax (the blue ranger) um personagem comico, tinha de ser eu a fazer o palhaco do grupo! LOL...

Soundtrack: I need a hero, by: Bonnie Taylor.

GAZELLE (for Paulo) by: Ray DeRousse

2006-08-10T16:07:00.000-06:00

Motionless near – you,
Firm and statue-graceful,
Level clear and constant
Gazes over Me.

An ancient hunter
Slobbers in envious sleep.

The arrows of his
Quiver shake
In the pause, the beauty
Of you. No more ...

Are you a gazelle than I
A hunter. In this forest
My heart growls
A threat.

You, though,
Draw the blow ...

I wait a beat,
And there you go.

Melissa Etheridge... What a musical experience!

2006-08-10T13:49:00.000-06:00

About 3-4 weeks ago i met in Parking night club a group of brazilians, in between them was: Barbara, she came for a month to visit Montreal, and she was leaving to Massachutsetts (i only learned how to pronunciate this word after Oliver taugh me: Massa-chusetts, Thank U boy).

She was leaving cuz she wanted to go see Melissa Etheridge, none of us could understand, how could she leave us to go, leave us and the whole partying scene that was happenning at the moment. Up till then i had no ideia of who Melissa Etheridge was. Oh WOW... now i do. Melissa Etheridge cancelled her show in Montreal last year after being diagnosted with cancer. But this year she is recovered and she made it. And How she made it... for me she is such a strong woman who about the cancer she said:

"people says oh a cancer, such bad luck, but for me i take as a gift, it was a gift, that helped me clean at lot of things that i didnt want in my life, gave me the strengh..."

Will we only be able to do that (cleanning) when we think we are dying or close to death?... not everyone can fight such cancer as she did, but she did, and for me she is a Fighter. Not only cuz of it... but cuz her show is composed by a band of 3 ( drums, electronic guitar and base), she plays the accoustic guitar, and some other she changed every song. There is no back vocals, no chorus, she sings every song top to bottom with no effort, its over-whelming. She sand for 3 hours... the crowd was going crazy, mainly lesbian, as Melissa is a lesbian... i swear i never saw so many together dancing and singing... over-rated. It was no doubt of it a happy moment. I loved the moment she broke down a bit, it was a lot of rock, and she sit to play in the piano, instrument that she self taught herself to play at the age of 12. It was beautifull. Someone who i cant forget to mention is Philip, her electronic guitarist... he was off the hook, amazing... i got chills just remenbering him play!

Thank you Danielle for giving me such a happy musical experience.

WOW... that is a true musician... i take my hat off for Melissa.

For the soundrack i'll use: You can sleep while i drive, by Melissa Etheridge.

http://www.melissaetheridge.com/

Making of : "different when it comes to you"...

2006-08-10T11:31:00.000-06:00

... is it time for the KISS?
... make up to work it out...
... you cannot tell by the pic, but we were above a spinning plate... i got so sick... almost fell a couple of times!
this parrot which name i forgot was the most entertainning bird i've ever met... and he can sing!
... Jimena was a Hot Latina from Chile... Encantadisimo estube!

Bruce Cockburn e o Video Animado!

2006-08-10T10:00:00.000-06:00

4 de junho 06 tenho uma audicao, para um video clip, de um cantor dos anos 70 prestes a lancar um novo album no mercado norte americano... como qualquer outra audicao em que sou resquested (pedido) atendi. depois da espera e de ver todos os outros concorrentes ao trabalho, entrei para a sala, onde sol ao inicio da tarde, dava-me direito a cara, provocando grossas gotas de calor e de nervos correr o meu corpo inteiro... nao sei porque, faco tantas audicoes a semana, mas ate agora ainda sinto um certo bixinho no estomago a cada vez que vou. Na audicao, eu tive de fingir ter um bouquet de flores, bater numa porta inexistente, por um disco a tocar, dancar ao silencio... e assim foi... sai de la, a morrer de calor, tinha deixado o meu amigo no carro, e quando la voltei o carro tinha desaparecido! Depois de longos minutos ao sol, la ele apareceu, e assim fomos jantar com mais amigos, durante o jantar, recebi uma chamada a dizer que o trabalho era meu. Tinha conseguido ser escolhido para o Video: "Different when it comes to You" de Bruce Cockburn.
O video retrata a vida de um casal, feliz no amor, Eu e a Jimena, fomos os protagonistas da cena, num mundo animado 3D, em que notas musicais voam, cores se transformam, e humanos se amam enquanto Bruce toca sua guitarra e encanta com a sua voz de um homem ja a muito maduro. O primeiro disco de Bruce foi lancado em 1970, ele teria na altura 29 anos, apesar de ter ja a cabeca cheia de cabelos brancos, esta em optima forma. Quando Bruce apareceu no estudio vi logo nele alguem em que sabia que ia encontrar inspiracao, e sempre bom ouvir de alguem que a muito faz musica, e que tem a musica como parte integral da vida, falamos imenso incluso sobre a sua familia, filha, ex-esposa, sobre saude... como deixar de fumar? um papo optimo. Bruce deixou de fumar depois de mais de 20 anos de fumador.
Quanto ao trabalho no video, era tudo em tela-verde (para efeitos especiais), e foi a minha primeira vez, que tive de representar sem instrumentos ou objectos reais, foi um desafio porreiro.
Aprendi muito nesse dia... tanto em relacao ao trabalho, como com simples factos da vida cotidiana. E hoje vi por primeira vez o Video na televisao (muchmusic)...
Ta Lindoooo!
o soundtrack e: "Different when it comes to you" by Bruce Cockburn, mas diz-se Cooburn, e nao Cock-Burn... ok? LOL...
http://www.brucecockburn.com/gallery.html

2006-08-10T09:54:00.000-06:00

Olhaaaa... Tenso... O-B-R-I-G-A-D-A!
(Barbara, Guilherme e Rodolfo)

... my nephew and my glasses...

2006-08-09T23:12:00.000-06:00

... 4 months ago, my family was blessed with the birth of LIEDSON.
My new fresh, big eyed and headed nephew easily confused by the old ladies for a Girl!
He looks like a Ball... i dont know what kind! either Soccer or Basket...
Its been more than a month since i saw him last in Toronto. Today he is Back Home!
I put him in my Lap, he smiles and plays with his hands untill... he gets to my face and pulls my glasses off... he stares at me... and starts crying, shouting as if i had bitten those fluffy cheecks... but i dont do that yet... he screams and screams...
After doing the same things over 3 times, i wonder?
Does he get upset cuz he wants me to put the glasses back on, so he can drop them again?
or
Does he get upset cuz he doesnt like me with no glasses?
Does he think i am somebody else and starts screaming for help?
The truth is... i can never have him on my Lap for more then 5 minutes, cuz there the glasses go again... and so the shouting starts...
LOL... Liedson, Liedson... my dear Nephew...

He is too young to have a Soundtrack, but he does, and its: Cancion de Cuna (folk song)

P.S.: YES! Its my nephew on the pic and YES i was the photographer! LOL...

The Paradise Destroyed!

2006-08-09T21:22:00.000-06:00

A couple of years ago when i finished University in New York City, i decided to move to Portugal to start my career in the place where i was born: Lisbon. After getting a lil apartment, it was time to start putting the furniture on it! Such hard job for someone that had never ever than it... it was the call saying: I'm Independent!
Far from my friends, from my family, in a totally new place, with a new Love!
The first thing that occurred to me, was... i'm gonna paint... with paintings at least the walls will look filled and so its a start. After buying the boards and brushes there i was painting... better... fast, faking painting! So i did Paradise: the painting on the entrance that would show with no need for words exactly what i was about!
Paradise is the reflection of what i was living in the moment... my home was my celestian garden... with two Adams, and no Eve to betray the order of God! But i do live in sin, and if there is one i might as well go to Hell!
My home ended up being a very cozy place, where my friends would spend days, either sleeping or partying.. always with someone to share good and bad moments...
Today... this lil piece of heaven, its gone... someone decided to take it of me... to destroy it.
You wonder why? i wish i knew... Is there anything i can do? not anymore, its too late!
But the memories of it, will stay.. here and on my mind, i bet, in my friends too!
I feel sorry, very sorry... once again the Empire that i spent time constructing is destroyed in no time! When i got that house i made sure that everything i owned would be shipped there, that there would be my Home, my Base, it didnt matter where i would go, there was the place where i would end up at the end of the day, of the week, of the month, of the year... or decade!
I remenber the enthusiasm of getting my first king size bed, the first couch, the fridge, the micro-wave (up till now i havent learned how to cook), the sound system, the tv... wow!
Today... i'll have to put it all in a container and wait till i decide where i want to settle again!
But the question is... after this incident... will i want to settle again?
I'll live it day-by-day!
At the end... I'm a Nomad again!

The sound of this tragedy is: I Gotta Believe, by Yolanda Adams!

http://www.yolandaadams.org/

Paulo da Maxinde!

2006-08-09T18:40:00.000-06:00

Paulo Pascoal... better known as "Paulo da Maxinde".

I've known this man, since very young, i used to spend my holidays with him, in Malange a province of the center-north of Angola. The place where he lived was called Maxinde!

He was one of the few black men with wealth, before the independence of Angola in 1975.

His house was enormeous... i would say he almost owned all the houses of Maxinde, but he would lend it to the family friends. In front of the house there was a market, A Praca da Maxinde, full of women selling from rice and beans, to pencil and paper, from tooth paste to fabric, to full outfits. I've always asked myself how could they stand in the sun so hot everyday since 5am to 6pm when the sun would suddenly drop and the moon would lighten us... and a cooler brease would caress my skin letting me know, its night time. On the left side of the street there was a SuperMarket, called Maxinde, where you could find everything you could get in the market but in bigger sizes and also some harware and toys, specially cheap imitations of Barbies, made in Spain. I know cuz i stole a lot of them! On the right side there was the road to go to the City, on the way you would find, my first School, where Paulo's wife Catarina was a teacher, and then, close by the Church! Being at Paulo's house, in the yard, you could see the long River: Kuanza... the currency of Angola is named after that River.

Several times i wanted to go there so i could see it closer, but the ancient people would tell me that i couldnt cuz there was a big snake called Maria Joaquina, that had long hair and three heads. I never got the chance to see her, but i still believe that there was something really wrong about that green shiny river. Not very far from the river was the Mosteiro de Santa Clara, from the yard i could see the tower of the basilic, they were building for years! But thats another story!

In the house... we had it all, chicken, pigs, sheeps, dogs, monkeys, cats in the store for the rats... and so on... every morning i would wait for the barber to trim my hair and make Paulo's beard. I would wait for the cooker, to go get with me fresh eggs and frie them for me... Paulo had so many employees it was ridiculous, but it was a way of helping people. Maxinde had no concrete, it had orange sand, everything was dusty full-time, and the men and women were always sweating and dirty! Every sunday after going to Church, we visited the nuns, that would fill me with kisses and gifts and then go back home. By the time we got home, the house would be invaded by tracks, big tracks with new merchandize, and at 3pm all the residents would fill up the yard waitting for their names to be called so they could get new things to sell in the market or even for their homes, sometimes they would be spoiled with bycicles and toys for the kids. It was adorable to see the white smiles in their sweaty dark skin faces sometimes after hours of waitting.

I always had the ideia that we were loved, and worshiped by them. At the age of 8, many times i would ride my bike with no t-shirt and be shouted by the people, rising their hands saying: Paulinho! and many times i heard: you will be the president of this Country! LOL... Maxinde was like Paulo's Empire!

In 1992, the civil war, took over the country, all the cities were invaded by UNITA, commanded by Jonas Malheiro "Savimbi", i was 9 years old, i will never forget the sound of the bullets, of the big canions, of the people screaming, the fear that would heat my whole body, praying to god to avoid me losing a loved person. In the second day after the war started we travelled to Luanda, the capital of Angola were everything was more calm. In the third day, our Home, Paulo's house, was invaded by the people he helped all his life, not with the ideia of hidding or protecting themselves but with the ideia of destroying it all, they called him a Thief, but he wasnt even a Government person. He was a normal citizen, someone that worked hard to construct everything he owned beside his lovely wife Catarina. In 3 days a whole life of work and helping the others, was over, to never go back to the same. They lost it all, it all! Paulo and Catarina Pascoal were my grand-parents, parents of my father: Ito (1961-1989). From there on our lives never went back to the same... they sent me to study to be a priest in a seminary in Spain, so i couldnt see our family fall apart... it was a lot of disappointment from people they trusted... Catarina passed away in 1999 and Paulo in 2005. I miss them so much, and this is the lesson of a Lifetime! That story has no other soundtrack but the noise of the people chatting in the window every morning before my grand-ma showed in the room with a warm glass of milk saying: "Bom Dia meu Filho"!

P.S.: i slept in the same room as my grand-parents till the age of 9. i know i was very spoiled!

(in the picture... my brother, me, paulo da maxinde and my sister)

... this is what will come soon...

2006-08-09T15:54:00.000-06:00

This is, this is, the first thing it is... me... its been a month since my birthday, its Leo Moon, time to challenge" love struggle", time to love, and love is my main priority in life... i love, you love, we love, they love, the world loves, the love loves itself... and here i go again... the first... will come soon...

For this Blog the soundtrack is What a Feeling, from Flashdance by Irene Cara... what i call the first song i heard in my Life! I was 4 years old when i first heard it... and it never left my Mind!

The Sound Of My Life... O Som Da Minha Vida... El Sonido De Mi Vida...

Check Out my INTERVIEW at World of Models!

Delayed Rescue!

As if i wrote these Lyrics...

Luanda-ANGOLA

My Inventor... Sonia Azevedo!

It's About Time!

Finding My New Years Vision...

From April 2007 On... Catching up With!

December 2006 and My Canadian Visa Issue

What is Quantum Physics!??

Lost in the Subway... The HomeComing!

An Angel told me to Return...

Quitting the Bad Habit... Dunhills!

Good-Bye Family... Again!

Miss Jackson show me some Boobs... i mean... Moves!

In Jail (w/ a Celeb)

Pink Panther!

Men Pregnancy is my illusion!

Heritage... Sonia Bucur!

***Vivre d'amour et d'eau chairre***

Shit Happens!

In Bed w/ "Reomatic Cold"

"Gunmen" in Montreal!

For Danielle!

Music Video!

9/11... 5 Years!

Strech Till The Sky Touch!

I Saved the Last Dance Africa (R.I.P.)

The Creator of Noah's Arc

Nothing Compares to Me???

MAMA!

I Love New York!

Morangos com Acucar is BACK!

# 7 on the countdown!

Chico Adam (R.I.P.) Os 3 Fajutos!

Romeo and Juliet?! Will Work for Food!

QUICKY a la Francaise! (what a coincidence!)

Busy(mess) Days in O-town!

"V" for "Virginity-Less"

Total Audition Failure!

"The Dreamer" is over!

"The Witches of Beverly Hills"

Beverly Hills Exit!

Where Am I From?

Movie: Little Miss Sunshine!

Eye-Candy for Keshia Chante!

Naked in a NightClub! (the Craziest Story ever)

Danielle et Moi!

Diego, Can you Tell the Differences?

"Late Fragments" or "Gay-for-Pay"?

Julio Iglesias... the Press and the Show!

Julio Iglesias and my 3rd Musical Aniversary!

Paginas do meu Diario... e o Irmaos Bedinfield!

Aprender...

PAULOCTIONARY.

Miss Angola in my House!

Mariah Carey, exposed in Montreal!

O(liver)bsession Part 2... the Saddest Good-Bye!

O(liver)bsession Part 1... Oliver-Mania!

The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test!

SEX TOYS AND MY MUSIC!

Dear Miss Swan... from Kuvaria!

Lavalife UK...

Annie Savoie... the Openning with Half of a Shirt!

Richard Robinson... the Stylest of the "Queens"...

The Movie "HouseSitter" and my "Spelling" Problem!

I Missed being Killed by Robert Englund!

Lebanon Memories!

JLo Loves Me!

... how good it feels being injected?...

D.R.U.G.S.

DJ Yerko and the Velvet...

Why is my Smile becoming so Green?

Child-Less Mother... (the empty baby carriege)

Contracto HairSpray...

Angies Showcase 2006... Numero 170...

GAY PRIDE... and the Aqua-Marine Party...

Flight AC 449... to Toronto!

...do you think love will happen?

Vivre d'amour et d'eau chairre