As if i wrote these Lyrics...

I came across this song, in one of many sleepless nights. I was laying in the couch (I tend to sleep with the television on, ever since i got here, in Angola)... the video started playing on MTV, from the time i saw a guy playing the piano in a room full of toys, i was like: "this is good". It brought me back to myself ever since i know myself, then i started paying attention to the lyrics and to how smart and simple the video was, and i fell in love. "Owl City" is rocking my world and this lyrics fairly describe my state of mind. Hope you enjoy it, as much as i do!

Luanda-ANGOLA

WoW... many days of silence! The truth is that i find it hard to say anything, when i don't know where i stand. I am in Luanda-Angola, after 4-5 years without coming, over 15 years living elsewhere, it's been exactly a week since i've arrived. At first i was extremely excited to come back here, to see my family, friends and see how the city had developed, but now i am almost ready to leave! I wish people's mentality and behavior had grown as much as the country did the past few years. So many things have changed, the city of Luanda has expanded so much, banks in every corner, malls with current movies playing in the cinemas worldwide, take-away, fast food places, good restaurants, even the television is a lot better and now one can actually spend a whole afternoon at home watching it, 4 new stadiums, beautifully done (the inauguration was done yesterday with the presence of the President of the republic) ... i think those are the things that had surprised me the most! In the meantime it is not easy to walk around or even drive around, it isn't safe, too many robberies, too many murderers for things like cell-phones, video cameras, money... It's sad, because it prevents people from enjoying the goodness the country is presenting. Many years ago when i left Angola, i had promised to myself not to return, i felt like i would never fit in here, with the passing of the years and seeing how so many people that have been abroad studying, so many of my friends had returned, my parents, my brothers and sisters, i felt like i could do the same, if they could, i could, why not, at the end, this is my country and this should be home, my whole family is here... unfortunately these days i'm coming to the same conclusion, this is not for me... but i wonder, will Angola ever be my HOME? ...

Soundtrack: I Wish, by Carl Henry

My Inventor... Sonia Azevedo!

In this picture: Sonia, my Dad (R.I.P) and Nuno (The Doll)

My older and beautiful sister Sonia, who is not my biological sister, is a person who i have great admiration for. I remember when i was younger, my family used to tell me that Sonia was my Inventor! She had a doll called "Nuno"(which is also my name) way before i was born. She used to ask my Mother and my Father R.I.P. who raised her, to have a baby like her doll and eventually my Mother got pregnant and here i am: Paulo Nuno de Azevedo Pascoal... and i looked just like her doll. Distance and time has made me and Sonia grow apart, we have very different lives, always lived in different countries, and never really got the chance to get to know each other. A couple of months ago, i was a little upset at Sonia for something i heard she did to my other sister, but there's no need to mention that any longer... I assumed things, she assumed things, but we never really talked about it, until this past Saturday, while i was out with my friends and i got a call from her. I got a bit nervous, i am just not used to have her call me and say: "I'm coming to meet you". When she finally got to the place i was, we got in and asked for 2 Tequila shots, yes, we cheered, i could feel that the day to set things clear had come. After some drinks and the club about to close, we were intoxicated enough to decide to get emotional, we sit outside on the ground, looking towards the river and seeing the sunrise, it was definitely one of the most beautiful mornings i've had in a long time, we spoke about everything and we realized how similar we are, although we are not biological brother and sister, we do love each other as if, at end, we do own the same blood, Sonia is the daughter of my Mother's older Brother Carlos, who lost his wife way too soon and got a bit edgy. My Mother took Sonia and her Brother Helder under her custody! But then my Mother also lost my father she was only 26 yeas old, and she couldn't follow her promise, she couldn't even take care of us. I wish i could speak about all we spoke, but i need to keep it private on her behalf. I will never forget when i was 11 years old and Sonia was 19 years old, my Mom sent both of us for holidays in South Africa, it was one of the best vacations i've had, Sonia smoked cigarettes and she didn't want the family to know at the time, and i took her first smoking picture to blackmail her, HaHa... it was when on the New Year's Eve of 1994 i was drunk for the first time in my life.

I'm really happy with the talk we had, although drunk, i hope we keep, as of now, growing together and learning from each other, and no matter what happens in the future, Sonia, i'll stand by you and i'll ask you first instead of assuming nonsense. I LOVE YOU SISTER!

The night ended past 10am, with both of us in the kitchen, crying, laughing, bonding, drinking champagne and smoking cigarettes!

It's About Time!

And almost an year has gone by, since my last Blog Entry: "Finding my New Years Vision".

God knows, so much has happened this year... in conclusion I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR, the biggest and longest scare of all times, so far!

I have kept writing but i also must assume i've been afraid of sharing!

Well, now the fear is gone... and here i am!

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As for my Blogger Readers that are not my friends anywhere else, there's a bunch of links on the right side: "The Sound of Network" ... where you'll be able to see me up and close, in case i have not much time to write!

There's plenty to share, Health, New Interviews, Movies, Music, Commercials, Love Interests, Traveling, a whole lot happening... Phew!

Stay Tuned, and allow me to do the same with you!

I LOVE YOU! I DO!

Thank You!

Namaste!

XXX

((P))

Soundtrack: Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson