It's about 6.24am and i have already posted 2 entries, feel like i am rushing to tell you everything, but i can't, i need to poise down and feel more of what i am writing, also pay more attention to errors and writing mistakes. No... that is also something that i have learned over the last year, to let go of the EGO! But it's not what i want to talk about, i want to talk about this urge that i suddenly have again to share my life with you, the world, to get advice, to grow... i haven't felt like this in a while, and i am so happy that is happening again! Whoa... So excited, i hope it lasts!
Writting another blog, would mean to have to make a huge effort to go back into the past, when past should actually just be history, but if it is, then if i forget it who's gonna be there to tell it?!
And why is this suddenly so important??
Because i have a Cancer!
Because i can't take my days for granted!
Because i might be selvish or even egocentric, but i just don't want to go without leaving something to be remembered by!
Because i've been blessed with life, 9 times, and in this last one up untill now, i feel like i've screwed it up and maybe by writting at least you, God or the Universe will know why!
Because i've always wanted to make history!
Because i feel alone and this is the only way i have to speak it out and loud but silently!
Because i have this immense power within but i don't know how to use it!
Because when i'm no longer it shall be the beauty of life that stole my last breath away, but if i don't share how will you know it was beautiful! And was it beautiful?!
2009, is suppose to be the best year of my life, and now that is so close i'm actually scared!
My friend Mike sent me this email about finding my new year vision, and i'll started it today, and i feel that if i don't let go of the past now, i won't be able to acomplish whatever there is for me to acomplish this year, that will make it so Amazing!
So i write... and i'll be writting it all untill i don't have anything else left in my mind, untill i'm thoughtless, untill my cup of tea is empty and ready to be refilled... and by cup of tea, i mean, mind, head, external mind, consciousness, brain... whatever you want to call it!
I need this! I do!
A new start an absolute new attitude and aproach to life!
It has happen earlier this year, but it's just gonna be put in practise as of now... 2009!
But what if i'm just talking the talk and not walking it?
Feels like i've been here so many times before!
Did i?!
I'm such a hot mess!
I'm lost and I desperately need help!
I do I do!
FUCK!
Why am i so scared?!
This is the Intro of the Program: Resolutions Don't Work...
It’s the dead of winter, the last week in December, and you’ve probably got some timeoff. If you’re like most of the world, you’re feeling reflective about the past year and aredaydreaming about the year to come. What’s next year going to be all about? What do Iwant it to be about? How can I stay focused and on track when everything is alwayschanging?
hahahahaha... YAY!
Soundtrack: "Find My Way Back"... by: Diana King
38 comments:
PAULO MY BROTHER!!!!
I hope you are doing okay ... you sound a little jumbled and confused.
Please let me know how you are doing my beautiful brother!
I love you!!
Hey Ray... I am doing good, and i hope the same is true for you!
I am back in Portugal, after a very intense year, and it sure feels good to be home, so it's time to get back to writing!
I love you too bro!
Let's keep in touch, do you have a facebook account? xxx ((P))
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